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January 15, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I have just finished the first chapter & I can already tell you are a writing god, epic win!
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November 2, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Realizing that you updated this made me play the game again. As for scene, my choice would be the room with six or seven Nyxes and three floating witches (I forget the actual name). I don't want to dictate the scene, however, as I feel that telling you how I want the scene sort of feels pushy (or it is to me at least).
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August 23, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Ah good to see this story updated again. Like you said it had a lot of potential...
Now let's see for pairings...well one of my personal favorite ideas are with the Nyx. I was thinking if maybe two of them kidnap Charlotte and use different medicine (ironically enough needles bother me no matter what the situation) but I was thinking one would put her into a constant state of arousal while another makes it so no matter how much she's stimulated she can't reach orgasm. From there have them play with her for awhile until eventually Johnathan comes in and rescues her. Although at that point he would still have to...satisfy her urges the Nyx had left her with.
Another idea is with the Alora Une which comparatively is much simpler. The main body pulls in Johnathan to have her way with him while she uses her tentacles to have her way with Charlotte.
Now let's see for pairings...well one of my personal favorite ideas are with the Nyx. I was thinking if maybe two of them kidnap Charlotte and use different medicine (ironically enough needles bother me no matter what the situation) but I was thinking one would put her into a constant state of arousal while another makes it so no matter how much she's stimulated she can't reach orgasm. From there have them play with her for awhile until eventually Johnathan comes in and rescues her. Although at that point he would still have to...satisfy her urges the Nyx had left her with.
Another idea is with the Alora Une which comparatively is much simpler. The main body pulls in Johnathan to have her way with him while she uses her tentacles to have her way with Charlotte.
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August 22, 2009 at 12:00 AM
For every day I need to wait for this to be updated, I will kill you.
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August 20, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I'm actually happy about this new chapter! Yes it doesn't have sex, but it's a good start.
Still I can't help wonder if you'll be like another author whose stories I've read before. In chapter 15 of his story, he claimed chapter 16 would be on the weekend of the same week he posted chapter 15. Instead, he updated his story to chapter 16 about 4 months after posting chapter 15.
Thankfully we'll get to see sex scenes with the female monsters starting in the next chapter, I hope.
Still I can't help wonder if you'll be like another author whose stories I've read before. In chapter 15 of his story, he claimed chapter 16 would be on the weekend of the same week he posted chapter 15. Instead, he updated his story to chapter 16 about 4 months after posting chapter 15.
Thankfully we'll get to see sex scenes with the female monsters starting in the next chapter, I hope.
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August 13, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Excellent. Excellent excellent excellent.
I've been waiting so long to see something naughty about confronting Astarte! And I love how you turn it around with Charlotte and have her "win" him back :). Your descriptions of her are good. You also describe the action really well. Yes, you anticipated my reaction- I would have liked sex or seduction over action, but at least there's no blood or anything to ruin it haha.
As for up next, my #1 request would be a succubus/lilith sequence, where they both (J+C) come to the very brink of succumbing to them and being completely enslaved. That would be the hottest thing ever, especially with your style!
I've been waiting so long to see something naughty about confronting Astarte! And I love how you turn it around with Charlotte and have her "win" him back :). Your descriptions of her are good. You also describe the action really well. Yes, you anticipated my reaction- I would have liked sex or seduction over action, but at least there's no blood or anything to ruin it haha.
As for up next, my #1 request would be a succubus/lilith sequence, where they both (J+C) come to the very brink of succumbing to them and being completely enslaved. That would be the hottest thing ever, especially with your style!
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August 12, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I don't know. I rather liked that chapter. Good solid action, nice use of actual dialogue from the game, cinematic magic and plot devices well-extrapolated from gameplay origins... We've got ourselves a winner.
Having Charlotte use Temptation was a stroke of genius. I really mean that. Not sure how it will work out plotwise, but a good twist.
All in all, the only thing you have to be ashamed of is the glacial pace at which you have been updating. And, considering my own, brutal case of writer's block/terminal lack of free time, I can't exactly take the moral high ground here. Good luck, my support, and a happier state of mind.
Transform and Rock Out.
Having Charlotte use Temptation was a stroke of genius. I really mean that. Not sure how it will work out plotwise, but a good twist.
All in all, the only thing you have to be ashamed of is the glacial pace at which you have been updating. And, considering my own, brutal case of writer's block/terminal lack of free time, I can't exactly take the moral high ground here. Good luck, my support, and a happier state of mind.
Transform and Rock Out.
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June 20, 2009 at 12:00 AM
You should have seen me jump from my chair when I saw an update that you were alive. Thanks so much for your open-mindedness, it speaks volumes of you as an author.
As for my request, at the top of the list would be succubus/lilith (probably as a pair with jon and charlotte). To keep it true to the game, liliths do an attack where they blow kisses that drain hearts. She could do this several times to Charlotte to arouse her and make her and make her unable to defend herself with magic. And the Succubi do that dash attack where they are enveloped in hearts, say something (don't remember what) and grab the character and kiss them four-five times, draining life. In the fiction maybe you wouldn't have it drain life, or maybe you would. But this is screaming for some ero-fiction, especially yuri with Charlotte :).
It may be hot to consider, in the context of your plot of them losing control, an element that Succubi/Lilith's kisses have a hypnotic quality to them. Then there could be a period where the succubus and lilith have them under their control and have their way with them, even with a tone of peril perhaps, to have them want to convert Charlotte to their side and make her over into a succubus by bringing her to climax (there's something like this in the original succubus legends). But then jonathan comes to his senses, saves her, and she relieves herself by masturbating in front of the succubus or something.
Just some thoughts, lemme know what you think :).
Second vote for alura une. Love the astarte idea.
As for my request, at the top of the list would be succubus/lilith (probably as a pair with jon and charlotte). To keep it true to the game, liliths do an attack where they blow kisses that drain hearts. She could do this several times to Charlotte to arouse her and make her and make her unable to defend herself with magic. And the Succubi do that dash attack where they are enveloped in hearts, say something (don't remember what) and grab the character and kiss them four-five times, draining life. In the fiction maybe you wouldn't have it drain life, or maybe you would. But this is screaming for some ero-fiction, especially yuri with Charlotte :).
It may be hot to consider, in the context of your plot of them losing control, an element that Succubi/Lilith's kisses have a hypnotic quality to them. Then there could be a period where the succubus and lilith have them under their control and have their way with them, even with a tone of peril perhaps, to have them want to convert Charlotte to their side and make her over into a succubus by bringing her to climax (there's something like this in the original succubus legends). But then jonathan comes to his senses, saves her, and she relieves herself by masturbating in front of the succubus or something.
Just some thoughts, lemme know what you think :).
Second vote for alura une. Love the astarte idea.
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June 20, 2009 at 12:00 AM
ZOMG!!!!! I'd forgotten about this story. Shame on you for being gone for so long.
.....
Um, just ignore my own neglected fanfic... >.>
I can understand how you want to avoid any anal or yaoi, as I share your preferences in that regard. Although the yaoi could be avoided simply by having the non-female monsters focus on Charlotte.
Anyway, my input on the choices provided:
Alura Une: Naked girl in a flower. I'm sure Jonathan would be aroused. And there's a high probability for tentacle action with Charlotte as well.
Lilith/Succubus: Predictable. Really, with the very nature of these monsters, how could the not be included?
Laura: Wow, I'm surprised someone besides me is interested in her. Although why was she in the game when her mistress Carmilla is not? Something I've often wondered.
Persephone & Nyx: Sexy maid or sexy nurse. two popular fetishes I suppose. Although I'm more into schoolgirls. er, moving on...
The Witches: big-breasted magic users flying around on broom sticks, or the students who don't look as hot but have this sexy moan when you hit them. Aliorumnas is the glowy floating one.
There are a coupe other female creatures you didn't mention such as the Frozen Shade or Lerajie (I think that last one is female) but maybe you just didn't get around to them yet.
Anyway, please please please oh PLEASE continue this.
.....
Um, just ignore my own neglected fanfic... >.>
I can understand how you want to avoid any anal or yaoi, as I share your preferences in that regard. Although the yaoi could be avoided simply by having the non-female monsters focus on Charlotte.
Anyway, my input on the choices provided:
Alura Une: Naked girl in a flower. I'm sure Jonathan would be aroused. And there's a high probability for tentacle action with Charlotte as well.
Lilith/Succubus: Predictable. Really, with the very nature of these monsters, how could the not be included?
Laura: Wow, I'm surprised someone besides me is interested in her. Although why was she in the game when her mistress Carmilla is not? Something I've often wondered.
Persephone & Nyx: Sexy maid or sexy nurse. two popular fetishes I suppose. Although I'm more into schoolgirls. er, moving on...
The Witches: big-breasted magic users flying around on broom sticks, or the students who don't look as hot but have this sexy moan when you hit them. Aliorumnas is the glowy floating one.
There are a coupe other female creatures you didn't mention such as the Frozen Shade or Lerajie (I think that last one is female) but maybe you just didn't get around to them yet.
Anyway, please please please oh PLEASE continue this.
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June 11, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I'm very happy to see that this story is starting up again!
Out of the monsters you talked about in the 2nd chapter, I'd either want to see a scenario involving the six succubi in the hallway below the Master's Chamber, or the two aluraunes outside the Dark Academy.
Perhaps you could have something where the two heroes get separated and encounter either scenario. Personally, for the six succubi, I want just Jonathan to get involved with them. That way he can get a threesome or more with the succubi. However for the two aluraunes, I want Jonathan and Charlotte to encounter them at the same time. That way we get to have both yuri and het!
Personally I want the succubi option.
Out of the monsters you talked about in the 2nd chapter, I'd either want to see a scenario involving the six succubi in the hallway below the Master's Chamber, or the two aluraunes outside the Dark Academy.
Perhaps you could have something where the two heroes get separated and encounter either scenario. Personally, for the six succubi, I want just Jonathan to get involved with them. That way he can get a threesome or more with the succubi. However for the two aluraunes, I want Jonathan and Charlotte to encounter them at the same time. That way we get to have both yuri and het!
Personally I want the succubi option.