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April 10, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Ah... Okay, I will start from the top. I like how you started with Daxter missing things about being an ottsel. The ones about holding his liquor and how it was nice to never sweat were very cute and surreal. The ones about being unable to accompany Jak on missions or even hide himself in some boxes were a little more sad... Poor Dax. I'm so worried for him! I wonder how Tess reacted to those situations if they ever came up and she was alone... I guess she does have a bit of a thing for guns, so she could always deal with people if she *really* had to.
And although this is a little bit like angst, it's a different sort from what we're used to, and I kinda like it. I like the survival intuition transformation, too. It's kindof interesting to see him keeping himself from talking when he's so used to it. That part also made me realize that they probably would have had NO chance of recognizing him as Jak's partner in his new human form, but that it would still be bad because they're Krimzon guards and that's how they are.
And I love the little bits of cuteness among the tension. When I read "He knew Tess was just as excited over shopping as he was," I thought, "man, for many women, Dax would be a great boyfriend." Or maybe I'm just echoing my own thoughts. *Sej REALLY needs to stop imagining her boyfriend with blue eyes and red hair*
Okay! This was very emotional. I really love it! I'm dying for updates now more than ever! Bah, first I had imagined funny cute things like Dax following Jak around in human form on missions, but changing his hairstyle and color and clothes and accent every other day (lol). Then I started wondering more obvious things like "is this the last transformation?" and "will he ever be able to control when and where he can change forms?" I'm really really really looking forward to anything you write in the future. *snuggle* Sorry for waiting this long to read and review! I've been gaming too hard a bit lately (RPGs...).
And although this is a little bit like angst, it's a different sort from what we're used to, and I kinda like it. I like the survival intuition transformation, too. It's kindof interesting to see him keeping himself from talking when he's so used to it. That part also made me realize that they probably would have had NO chance of recognizing him as Jak's partner in his new human form, but that it would still be bad because they're Krimzon guards and that's how they are.
And I love the little bits of cuteness among the tension. When I read "He knew Tess was just as excited over shopping as he was," I thought, "man, for many women, Dax would be a great boyfriend." Or maybe I'm just echoing my own thoughts. *Sej REALLY needs to stop imagining her boyfriend with blue eyes and red hair*
Okay! This was very emotional. I really love it! I'm dying for updates now more than ever! Bah, first I had imagined funny cute things like Dax following Jak around in human form on missions, but changing his hairstyle and color and clothes and accent every other day (lol). Then I started wondering more obvious things like "is this the last transformation?" and "will he ever be able to control when and where he can change forms?" I'm really really really looking forward to anything you write in the future. *snuggle* Sorry for waiting this long to read and review! I've been gaming too hard a bit lately (RPGs...).
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April 6, 2008 at 12:00 AM
He'll be able to change back, right? All he has to do is wish he was human and presto he'll be back. Right? Right?! I hope so. I'm not a fan of beastiality and I wanna see some Jak and Daxter action, I won't lie.
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April 6, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I'll admit I was getting really, really worried when the KG busted in! I'm so glad Dax was lucky enough to transform and get off the hook, even if he did get hurt. Poor little guy... Hopefully he'll be able to become human again somehow? Well, at least he is small enough to be held and taken care of by Tess and Jak until then! Hurt ottsels need double the lovin' to heal correctly, you see :3
Very nice chapter!
Very nice chapter!
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March 27, 2008 at 12:00 AM
This is such a CUTE story!
I wonder, does Daxter miss his ottsel self because he gets to go with Jak on missions?
And it's hysterical how no one is making a huge deal about Dax being human. It's like they know he just wants the attention.
PLEASE UPDATE SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Much Love
Dee
I wonder, does Daxter miss his ottsel self because he gets to go with Jak on missions?
And it's hysterical how no one is making a huge deal about Dax being human. It's like they know he just wants the attention.
PLEASE UPDATE SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Much Love
Dee
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March 8, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Aw, this is adorable so far. Great writing as well, very realistic. I eagerly await your next chapter and will frequently be checking in for it.
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March 6, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I just love this chapter :3 It's so cute! Poor Dax is getting no love or congrats whatsoever on finally getting back to normal until... wait for it... here comes Tess with the flying leap o' luv! XD Jak should be SO jealous over that. But then again, he did get to carry Dax some there at the end. That should balance out. And as for the end, it was beyond sweet. I loved Dax all unknowingly doing what he's done for years and snuggling up with his partner in crime. Sooooo so so so cute!!!
Keep it up, you're on a roll with the quick updates!
Keep it up, you're on a roll with the quick updates!
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February 26, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Wahh!! It's adorable. I loved the way Jak stared at Daxter while he was sleeping! And the fact that Daxter got rid of an erection by imagining Torn in a g-string. Not the mention the fact that both of them were aroused to begin with. O.O I want to know what happens! I'm glad that you update as often as you do.
I wonder what kinds of clothes you'll have him pick. I hate to admit it, but the thought of Jak going on missions without Daxter drives me crazy. Of course, the thought of Daxter being in harm's way ALSO drives me crazy, so I just wish they could find some other way of making money for themselves... I suppose that depending on the timeline, there is always something. Dax has the Naughty Ottsel, after all, and he could always open a body shop next dooooooor (I'm getting ideas from writing this, lol).
Imagine Jak returning from a mission where he was preoccupied thinking about Daxter and got a wound. Then Daxter would have to tend to his wounds and they'd have another excuse to be close.
And on my last serious note, I liked the way you described Dax. Not a classic beauty, but there's something about him. I wholeheartedly agree. I'm glad you and Robin are both writing at the same time I am, because I always have three or four scenarios to think about when I'm showering or trying to fall asleep. Sej = such a hornball :O
P.S.
Your chapters aren't too short! Don't be self-conscious.
I wonder what kinds of clothes you'll have him pick. I hate to admit it, but the thought of Jak going on missions without Daxter drives me crazy. Of course, the thought of Daxter being in harm's way ALSO drives me crazy, so I just wish they could find some other way of making money for themselves... I suppose that depending on the timeline, there is always something. Dax has the Naughty Ottsel, after all, and he could always open a body shop next dooooooor (I'm getting ideas from writing this, lol).
Imagine Jak returning from a mission where he was preoccupied thinking about Daxter and got a wound. Then Daxter would have to tend to his wounds and they'd have another excuse to be close.
And on my last serious note, I liked the way you described Dax. Not a classic beauty, but there's something about him. I wholeheartedly agree. I'm glad you and Robin are both writing at the same time I am, because I always have three or four scenarios to think about when I'm showering or trying to fall asleep. Sej = such a hornball :O
P.S.
Your chapters aren't too short! Don't be self-conscious.
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February 22, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Heheh. "Cliffhanger." Sorry, my bad. Ahem, I'm lovin' your fic, dear! Truly, I am! I got a real kick out of the action scenes in the first chapter! If only I could steal your writing talent... I'm excited to see it continue! This seems a bit useless, but I love it, as if you couldn't tell. :)
~MJ
~MJ
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February 19, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I really enjoyed this chapter all the way through, from Jak’s reaction to Daxters good fortune to Dax’s observations of his hot goateed best buds chest, you really expressed the emotional mindset for them both. Keep ’em coming, I can hardly stand the wait for Dax’s chance to “enjoy his body”.
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February 18, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hey again, Sione. We updated right around the same time! It was kindof nice because reading this offered a distraction from wondering if my latest chapter will be received well. I had bizarre dreams after cranking that out last night, too. I won't go too heavy into detail, but let's just say that there were Vulcans, an adorable hungry kitten, book stores, coffee shops, a burning town, a boardwalk, a book publisher, some money, and my mom. ._.
About this chapter! It was great again. More nekkidness! That's the best. I like the way Daxter worried about Jak's arm and the stains on his tunic, and I wonder what he's planning to do in order to "enjoy his new body." On a more candid note, it actually reminded me of a hilarious toothepastefordinner comic that said something like "creepiest outfit ever: just a shirt." But that was an image of a hairy, fat hobo-type guy.
Actually, if you think about what Daxter would wear to bed as a human, oversized t-shirts sound like a good idea. >.> Or Spiderman pajamas. Or something with power rangers on them. <.<
Honestly, though, you do a much better job than I when it comes to describing the setting. I like how the chapter was really only one scene--Jak and Dax spending the redhead's first moments of humanity together--and it was satisfying. I want to hear other peoples' reactions, too. What about Tess?! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaahh I'm giving myself suspense ulcers.
:D GOOD JOB!
About this chapter! It was great again. More nekkidness! That's the best. I like the way Daxter worried about Jak's arm and the stains on his tunic, and I wonder what he's planning to do in order to "enjoy his new body." On a more candid note, it actually reminded me of a hilarious toothepastefordinner comic that said something like "creepiest outfit ever: just a shirt." But that was an image of a hairy, fat hobo-type guy.
Actually, if you think about what Daxter would wear to bed as a human, oversized t-shirts sound like a good idea. >.> Or Spiderman pajamas. Or something with power rangers on them. <.<
Honestly, though, you do a much better job than I when it comes to describing the setting. I like how the chapter was really only one scene--Jak and Dax spending the redhead's first moments of humanity together--and it was satisfying. I want to hear other peoples' reactions, too. What about Tess?! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaahh I'm giving myself suspense ulcers.
:D GOOD JOB!