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schedule
April 4, 2008 at 12:00 AM
i hope you update soon i'm sure life is keeping you busy but pleasign i'm begging you! update soon
schedule
March 22, 2008 at 12:00 AM
*Tries to break free from the ample amount of duck tape...but fails miserably* Is there anything in the world duck tape can't do? XD!
Anyways, I am glad to see a new chapter. Yay! You know I never really thought about Malon being related to the Gerudos. Very interesting. Well I hope you update soon!
Anyways, I am glad to see a new chapter. Yay! You know I never really thought about Malon being related to the Gerudos. Very interesting. Well I hope you update soon!
schedule
March 20, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I love it! (i lost my old account but I love this story!) Keep up the good work ^^
schedule
March 6, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Excellent chapter! After the last 'Bubbles' I was a little unsure if you knew where you wanted to go with the story, but this one totally blew away my fears; the wind is really in your sails here!
A couple of constructive criticisms I would like to express: IMO if you follow these points this would be a perfect chapter:
- A little more description needed in and around the Gerudo fortress, I would like to get a better sense of the atmosphere there, as well as what everything looks and feels like.
- The posting of the URL within the story - that's a big No No in any competent fiction. Put it as a footnote (asterisk if you need to) so it doesn't interupt and break the flow of the story.
- Belly-dance scene needs more description of the actual dance moves (swaying hips etc) since it's a little vague in my mind of what exactly the dance looked like.
Even with those points aside, (and I've probably said this before) this is probably the best chapter so far! Keep it up!
A couple of constructive criticisms I would like to express: IMO if you follow these points this would be a perfect chapter:
- A little more description needed in and around the Gerudo fortress, I would like to get a better sense of the atmosphere there, as well as what everything looks and feels like.
- The posting of the URL within the story - that's a big No No in any competent fiction. Put it as a footnote (asterisk if you need to) so it doesn't interupt and break the flow of the story.
- Belly-dance scene needs more description of the actual dance moves (swaying hips etc) since it's a little vague in my mind of what exactly the dance looked like.
Even with those points aside, (and I've probably said this before) this is probably the best chapter so far! Keep it up!
schedule
March 2, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Wow. Just... Wow. I hope you plan on updating soon. The only things that bother me are your confusion with the placement of the word "your" when it should be "you're". Examples: 1.) That is your ball. 2.) You're going to show me the world.
Another thing... author's notes should be put at the end of the chapter rather right in the middle with the text. It takes the reader's focus off of the story and onto something in reality, which can throw someone's imagination and imagery off of the story line. Other than that, I'm loving this fiction and hope you update soon.
Another thing... author's notes should be put at the end of the chapter rather right in the middle with the text. It takes the reader's focus off of the story and onto something in reality, which can throw someone's imagination and imagery off of the story line. Other than that, I'm loving this fiction and hope you update soon.
schedule
February 26, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I like this story... i'm looking forward to the next chapter...please keep up the good work.
schedule
February 22, 2008 at 12:00 AM
please tell me your going to update soon please and i appreicate you reviewing me
schedule
February 18, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Cute story and very orignal. I don't think I have ever read a Malon and Dark Link pairing story before? Cool.
You got me wondering though, what would happen if the real Link discovered that his shadow was staying with Malon? Would Link fight him? Perhaps Link might end up discovering he has deep down feelings for Malon as well. What would Zelda do if she found out? What would happen if Malon had to choose which man she loves? There is so many ways you can take this story which is very interesting. Of course you do not have to write your story to my crazy ramblings. I will enjoy this story no matter which way you are taking it.
You got me wondering though, what would happen if the real Link discovered that his shadow was staying with Malon? Would Link fight him? Perhaps Link might end up discovering he has deep down feelings for Malon as well. What would Zelda do if she found out? What would happen if Malon had to choose which man she loves? There is so many ways you can take this story which is very interesting. Of course you do not have to write your story to my crazy ramblings. I will enjoy this story no matter which way you are taking it.
schedule
February 8, 2008 at 12:00 AM
another excelletn addition to a delictable story, i was wondering if you could help me a lot with my stoy so i can get a great deal of reviews like yours and make an even better story
schedule
February 8, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Not my favourite chapter (though still very good) although probably a necessary one in order for us to see Knil adapting to human (or Hylian) life and to bond him and Malon further.
Looking forward to the climax of the story and what the future holds for these characters!
Looking forward to the climax of the story and what the future holds for these characters!