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August 10, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Any Chance Of Getting Some Raine/Regal Going?
Really Good Story. Particularly Enjoyed Part 1. It Was A Very Good Introduction
Really Good Story. Particularly Enjoyed Part 1. It Was A Very Good Introduction
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January 7, 2009 at 12:00 AM
you really are a good writer, one of my favorites actually.
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January 8, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Wow...
No love for Raine, huh? lol
=(
No love for Raine, huh? lol
=(
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December 20, 2007 at 12:00 AM
In response to Streti's comments about the dialogue: (thanks a lot for your support by the way)
-Definitely valid points; the wording is certainly not what would seem to come from Sheena's mouth; and the robotic analyzations of Presea seem to be almost non-existent in the course of the story. However, I wanted to convey the loss of usual tendencies; when Colette and Sheena witness Presea masturbating, they, already excited from talking about the rosebud previously, are now seeing a really rare sight; seeing such a loss of control would make any of us talk differently, with simple, short sentences, and swearing a bit, just because of the naughtiness of the situation! With Presea, she is experiencing a lot of new emotions at this time, which overwhelm her as such that her judgement and previously unerrored speaking are affected. that's my angle on it anyway, though it is definitely out of character in terms of their usual personalities, I tried to show how they would act/speak if hormones dictated most of their actions. Thanks!
-Definitely valid points; the wording is certainly not what would seem to come from Sheena's mouth; and the robotic analyzations of Presea seem to be almost non-existent in the course of the story. However, I wanted to convey the loss of usual tendencies; when Colette and Sheena witness Presea masturbating, they, already excited from talking about the rosebud previously, are now seeing a really rare sight; seeing such a loss of control would make any of us talk differently, with simple, short sentences, and swearing a bit, just because of the naughtiness of the situation! With Presea, she is experiencing a lot of new emotions at this time, which overwhelm her as such that her judgement and previously unerrored speaking are affected. that's my angle on it anyway, though it is definitely out of character in terms of their usual personalities, I tried to show how they would act/speak if hormones dictated most of their actions. Thanks!
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December 15, 2007 at 12:00 AM
wow, just.... wow.
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December 10, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Wow, that was a hot chapter. The opening is great, but later on, in the scenes with Presea, the dialogue is a bit off. Lines like “I know..holy shit..she’s so fucking hot too…look at how horny she is…look at those tits…aahh…” and the scene where Presea's telling about the threesome don't sound very natural and are over the top for the girls at that point. Constrastively, the dialogue of the guys later on sounds much more natural, especially with a great line like “Genis, I’m flattered..but the great Zelos just doesn’t swing that way..and..”
It's also a great scene when the guys are discussing about the hot night before, like "Lloyd, you should’ve seen…holy shit…she let us cum alll ovverr her…and her body was soaked..her tits..her mouth..everything.." But then we get on to the full sex, which is incredibly hot! The girls together, the scene where Sheena is teasing the guys, sexy tits getting cockslapped, all of the threeways and more going on. Could have hoped for some more cumshots before the end, but it's an awesome scene when the girls are getting covered with cum and then playing around with it. And that still leaves more for later like cumshots on their hair and butts.
So in short, an awesome orgy and definitely lives up to the name of "Orgy for the Ages"!
It's also a great scene when the guys are discussing about the hot night before, like "Lloyd, you should’ve seen…holy shit…she let us cum alll ovverr her…and her body was soaked..her tits..her mouth..everything.." But then we get on to the full sex, which is incredibly hot! The girls together, the scene where Sheena is teasing the guys, sexy tits getting cockslapped, all of the threeways and more going on. Could have hoped for some more cumshots before the end, but it's an awesome scene when the girls are getting covered with cum and then playing around with it. And that still leaves more for later like cumshots on their hair and butts.
So in short, an awesome orgy and definitely lives up to the name of "Orgy for the Ages"!
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November 26, 2007 at 12:00 AM
This is a very well written fic. The first chapter was very unique and a good 'warm up', showing the protagonists' barriers slowly falling through.
As for the 2nd chapter, this was especially well done. I really enjoyed reading this, especially the part with Presea, Regal, and Genis (Regal/Presea is my fav. couple believe it or not). There were some errors here and there, but overall, good work!
I expect more from you, good luck!
~MHTT
As for the 2nd chapter, this was especially well done. I really enjoyed reading this, especially the part with Presea, Regal, and Genis (Regal/Presea is my fav. couple believe it or not). There were some errors here and there, but overall, good work!
I expect more from you, good luck!
~MHTT
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November 12, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Nice hot yuri action to start with! Maybe I will write a Symphonia yuri. Please continue!
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November 4, 2007 at 12:00 AM
hot damn that was good
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November 3, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Great to see new talent and fresh style here at AFF! The first chapter is very naughty and second chapter makes things even hotter and hornier. Lovely sexy scenes and even better finishes when the horny girls are covered with cum. Having them go all out in chapter 3 should be great.