schedule
September 5, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Holy crap, a Startopia fic? I thought I was the only one who played that game.
Anyways, nice enough start. However, I do have one comment. The second sentence of this fic seems out of place. There are more elegant ways of introducing your main character. For example, you could delete that sentence and simply jump ahead to "The ship rocked and Selura, a female Siren of the planet Minos, was thrown in her seat..."
In any case, keep up the good work.
Anyways, nice enough start. However, I do have one comment. The second sentence of this fic seems out of place. There are more elegant ways of introducing your main character. For example, you could delete that sentence and simply jump ahead to "The ship rocked and Selura, a female Siren of the planet Minos, was thrown in her seat..."
In any case, keep up the good work.