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September 18, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Yeah, I'm going to have to agree with A Nonymouse. Maybe I don't understand the effect that you were going for, but the interjections from the author in chapter 2 were a little distracting. Like when you talk about watching Leon's hips next time you have him move something. It's... a little like sprinkling Author Notes into the story itself. I'm not trying to flame, but you said you wanted critiquing...
The present tense is interesting. I don't see many fics that do that. There are one or two places were you slip into past tense. I should have picked a specific example, because the part where you're talking about Dante's memories (or something like that) in chapter one works with the past tense. However, there were still one or two places where it seemed like it was an oversight or a typo. I don't know if that makes sense, but keep tense in mind. I have the same problem if I try to write in present tense.
I agree, you are doing so much better than some other writers I've seen in the paragraph department. Keep that up =)
The story is a good idea. I like pairings where the two characters involved have a love/hate relationship. I bet as feisty as Leon is, he's going to be the bottom, though, huh? Poor Leon... but his feistiness makes him such a cute bottom...
The present tense is interesting. I don't see many fics that do that. There are one or two places were you slip into past tense. I should have picked a specific example, because the part where you're talking about Dante's memories (or something like that) in chapter one works with the past tense. However, there were still one or two places where it seemed like it was an oversight or a typo. I don't know if that makes sense, but keep tense in mind. I have the same problem if I try to write in present tense.
I agree, you are doing so much better than some other writers I've seen in the paragraph department. Keep that up =)
The story is a good idea. I like pairings where the two characters involved have a love/hate relationship. I bet as feisty as Leon is, he's going to be the bottom, though, huh? Poor Leon... but his feistiness makes him such a cute bottom...
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September 11, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Pretty awsome writing style! Poor Dante..
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September 10, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I really like this story, so please continue it *_*;
Umm when I was reading it Chapter 1 seemed a lot mmore structured than Chapter 2 for some reason. o.o maybe too many breaks in chappie 2 with all the "GO LEON, GO!" and "Okay Dante you better stop before he laughs at you." stuff, I think...
Umm when I was reading it Chapter 1 seemed a lot mmore structured than Chapter 2 for some reason. o.o maybe too many breaks in chappie 2 with all the "GO LEON, GO!" and "Okay Dante you better stop before he laughs at you." stuff, I think...
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September 4, 2007 at 12:00 AM
*__* Tee hee, Resident Evil's Leon *AND* Devil May Cry's Dante! Have I died and gone to heaven??? Good thing I checked out the 'Latest' panel. I'm a huuuuuuuge fan of Dante, you see, and I'm pretty fed up with him being hooked up with the same-o-same-o people. I always thought Leon was a hottie and now to see a fanfic writer actually have him *with* my favorite babe in the universe??? O__O Oooh, this was certainly a nice surprise!
Please write more! I just love how the action starts and the tremendous comic relief Dante provides. I think he goes well with the serious/intense Leon. It's an interesting combination and I hope to see more of it in the future chapters. That chainsaw part of the story was also hilarious, where Dante is like 'whatever.'
Hee hee, I draw so now I have an excuse to do some Dante/Leon stuff. ^_^ I'll be sure to send you it if I ever find the time to do some fanart (sighs and cries at the school workload piling up on the desk)
Please write more! I just love how the action starts and the tremendous comic relief Dante provides. I think he goes well with the serious/intense Leon. It's an interesting combination and I hope to see more of it in the future chapters. That chainsaw part of the story was also hilarious, where Dante is like 'whatever.'
Hee hee, I draw so now I have an excuse to do some Dante/Leon stuff. ^_^ I'll be sure to send you it if I ever find the time to do some fanart (sighs and cries at the school workload piling up on the desk)
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September 3, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I love the story so far.
Devil May Cry and Resident Evil 4 are my favorite games.
The pairing is very interesting. Keep it up and post more. :]
Devil May Cry and Resident Evil 4 are my favorite games.
The pairing is very interesting. Keep it up and post more. :]
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September 3, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Well, first off I like it and I think you should definitely finish it. For one thing it isn't a crossover I've seen before, although now that I think about it I can't imagine why (they'd be quite pretty together). Now I'm not much of a writer so I can't really say anything there, except that I was able to enjoy the story without being caught up in spelling and grammatical errors which is surprisingly rare sometimes. Plus you use paragraphs, which is awesome.