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March 25, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Very good! Especially the dialog going on between the girls there.
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October 22, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Your grammar, spelling and punctuation need work. Multiple typos, an obvious lack of a comma in a sentence that really needed it... yeah, try running this through whatever Word Processor you use, do a a spell check, get a friend to proofread.
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April 7, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Pretty damn good.
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December 11, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Absolutely awesome!
I just love the domination play between Kasumi and Ayane.
Really, don't get discouraged just because the majority of people who frequent here want to read yaoi and are going to ignore your story.
I think it's one of the best fics, not only in the DOA section but in all of AFF.
Thanks a bunch! :D
I just love the domination play between Kasumi and Ayane.
Really, don't get discouraged just because the majority of people who frequent here want to read yaoi and are going to ignore your story.
I think it's one of the best fics, not only in the DOA section but in all of AFF.
Thanks a bunch! :D
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June 20, 2007 at 12:00 AM
More Kasumi/Ayane incest please!!! There isn't enough lemons featuring the two. Update soon. Nice work by the way.
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June 19, 2007 at 12:00 AM
OMFG
Best Kasumi/Ayane fic I've read so far.
And I truly love that pairing.
Awesome work!
Best Kasumi/Ayane fic I've read so far.
And I truly love that pairing.
Awesome work!