rate_review Reviews

I have always loved this story. Any chance you can tell us how it was supposed to end if you're not gonna finish it? :C

Wow the most amazing story ever, if you need help with finishing the last chapter i'm a published author, email me at lightbanee@yahoo.com.au I'd love to see this stroy completly finished. Also if you want to try and extend your summarized scenes. It will be a pity to have such an awesome story stay unfinished so close to the end

It happened again, after about 5 chapter the website seems to get upset with me and stops letting me leave reviews XD. Sorry about those gaps, but I wanted to come back and leave 1 more review to let you know my final thoughts even though I finished reading this yesterday. I've really enjoyed this story, the sex was a small part of it in a way and I appreciate how you gave plenty of room to the plot, non-sexual character interaction and other important elements, it made for a much more balanced fanfic than your conventional lemon. I cannot make heads or tails of this website XD, so I dunno how long ago you last updated, but I hope you come back and finish this sometime, since it's really cool and if I gather right, only has 2 more chapters to go by plan. I think as criticism goes, you sometimes don't flesh out scenes to the point they deserve, but I gather you know this already, and it's the only thing I can think to say, other than that all I can say is I've enjoyed it ^^.

For some reason it stopped accepting my reviews yesterday, I dunno why, but sorry for the gap in chapters :o. Anyway, this was a really interesting read for me, I enjoyed the shifting points of view even more than usual, and the psychological elements, mostly dealing with Ari, were lots of fun to see play out. The sex was pretty damned good too XD, hehe, and I'm enjoying seeing the development of Krauser, so all in all a good chapter ^^.

Aww, that was a sweet ending, good going Jack ^^. Hehe, considering the lack of adventure, this was a pretty adventurous chapter XD. It was intetesting and a little funny to see the idea of sex spread past just Ashley and Krauser, I enjoyed the fairly adult but still entertaining way you went about it, and the sex itself was appreciably kinky and innovative, and I still managed to feel for Ashley's minor fumbles and worries too :).

Ooh, there was a twist I honestly didn't expect. Since I don't know too much about RE4 I wasn't sure how plaga do spread, I figured it was a fairly controlled activity, so yeah, I thought something might happen to Ari and Heather at first, but you kept them around long enough, I thought they'd just be OK, not that they aren't now, but you know what I mean hopefully XD. I really liked this chapter, a lot of great plot development, character interaction and emotional content, one of my favourite so far, I'm looking forwards to whatever comes next :D.

Hahaha, oh man, that was so reckless and random and fun XD. I wondered what you'd do with this interlude, and now I know, I'm glad you did it. I don't know if there's any canonical history between Krauser and Leon pre-RE4, if there isn't. I think your invention of it is cool, and if there is, the way you went into it is about equally awesome to me. This was way fun, you made Krauser engagingly loopy and I loved it start to finish XD.

Ooh, I wonder if this has anything to do with a game beyond RE4 or if it's your own work and thinking. Either way it's good, I'm really glad to see Leon again, whether or not you think you're writing him personally well I'm excited about the psychological elements you could play around with, having him about 8). Giving a brief bit of constructive criticism you sometimes employ surplus commas, for example "Seriously, though, did their commander have to be such a stone cold, plaga hating, bastard about all of this?", there's really no reason to not just hace "stone cold, plaga hating, bastard", or again with "sweeping a small, clip on flashlight over the shelves", the comma after small doesn't really fit, generally speaking (unless I'm mistaken), commas are good to separate descriptive elements, but you don't put one between the last description and whatever it is you're describing. Kinda like one, two, three and four, you don't need a comma after the three. Anyway, this is fun ^^!

I said I'd get around to this one day XD. I guess this is the sequel to that other story I read at least most of, it linked something but I forgot to check it. In any case, it should be able to stand well on its own, so no worries :D. I still haven't played this game, so I'm at a handicap, but this seems a good start to things, nothing really intense or dramatic, but it sets the scene cleanly and clearly, and opens up a lot of possible paths for events to take, with Ada and Leon or Jack and, um, what's her name XD? I forgot, but good start ^^.

I noticed the first chapter was called Prologue, a very fitting title, like I said it set the scene and now we're really getting underway :D. It's interesting to see Ashley and Jack's chemistry (for lack of a better word XD), despite everything they've been through and all he's done to her you manage to keep it convicingly fresh and engaging, rather than turning stale. The perspective switching is another technique I appreciate, I like the almost desperate clinging on Ashley does, to her dignity, her composure, any hope and so forth, while Krauser's crude outlook is refreshingly different, I love how "breasts" become "tits" when we read from his point of view, that's exactly the kind of difference that counts XD. Finally, I'm enjoying the pacing here, I've got a fondness for the "Sorting out the basics" kind of situation, where the characters have to pull their act together more or less from square one, perhaps it's the gamer in me, but I'm enjoying reading that here ^^.