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February 22, 2014 at 12:00 AM
I still think a follow up fic would be a M/F/F Sora/Kairi/Ariel fic. ;)
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February 13, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Very creative. I always assumed mermaids had internal genitalia, but never read a story that presented it like dolphins. Good job.
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February 24, 2010 at 12:00 AM
this story was totally AWESOME!!! I enjoyed reading it very much!
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January 13, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Very nice.
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May 27, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Whatever you do, don’t give up writing! And don’t let lack of reviews for this deter you either--80+% of us fangirls like Boy-Love (yaoi) more than hetero pairings or Girl-Love (yuri).
Anyway, aside for now and then shifting (and minor shifting at that) between past and present tense, this was beautifully written. And that’s refreshing, as the level/standard of writing for one-shots is . . . lower than for full-out-fiction writing. So be proud of you abilities with prose and detail.
Now, Ariel was mostly Out-Of-Character in this, but she’d have to be in order for any of it to happen. XD Still, she was OOC in a sensible way. Sora, on the other hand, felt totally In-Character, and I can absolutely see him both wondering why he’s pink, and has a slit down there, along with whether or not he could wield a third keyblade.
So yeah, this was very cute, and very satisfying to read. And I think the ending is sweet with Ariel commenting on how much he loves Kairi--that was another nice touch, no mater how lost in passion he is, he still think of Kairi.
Good Luck with future fics!
Anyway, aside for now and then shifting (and minor shifting at that) between past and present tense, this was beautifully written. And that’s refreshing, as the level/standard of writing for one-shots is . . . lower than for full-out-fiction writing. So be proud of you abilities with prose and detail.
Now, Ariel was mostly Out-Of-Character in this, but she’d have to be in order for any of it to happen. XD Still, she was OOC in a sensible way. Sora, on the other hand, felt totally In-Character, and I can absolutely see him both wondering why he’s pink, and has a slit down there, along with whether or not he could wield a third keyblade.
So yeah, this was very cute, and very satisfying to read. And I think the ending is sweet with Ariel commenting on how much he loves Kairi--that was another nice touch, no mater how lost in passion he is, he still think of Kairi.
Good Luck with future fics!
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May 27, 2007 at 12:00 AM
You write beautifully! I didn't know fish sex could be so erotic. Not to sound stupid, but did you research the mechanics of it, or did you make that up?
I can't wait to see another story from you.
H.S.L.
P.S. If you can do that awesome with a oneshot, I'd love to see how great you deal with a full length story...think about it, won't you?
I can't wait to see another story from you.
H.S.L.
P.S. If you can do that awesome with a oneshot, I'd love to see how great you deal with a full length story...think about it, won't you?