errorYou must be logged in to review this story.
schedule
June 4, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I enjoyed these chapters, especially the ones w/ Mia and Titania. I'm looking forward to seeing more of your work once you decide to continue this. ^_^
schedule
April 5, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Please Continue this! Is very good!
joking joking. But do continue, please.
joking joking. But do continue, please.
schedule
February 9, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I love this it's great, I hope you extend it to Radient Dawn
schedule
January 27, 2008 at 12:00 AM
The best chapter yet. I'm not a big Illyana fan (I see her more as comic relief than eye candy, so to speak) but this was very well-written. I'm looking forward to upcoming chapters, Elincia, Nephenee, Sigrun, and Lucia especially.
schedule
August 26, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Okay, 2 parts here:
GOOD
No visible spelling or grammatical errors, but there are some apostrophe issues here and there. It's nice to have a good setting for each of these 'PWP' chapters. It's a nice read
all 'n all, and I really like the Titania chapter (I admit I'm a fan of that pairing.)
BAD
The biggest (and hopefully only) problem is the layout. First there's single sentences, then there's these large Wall-of-Text paragraphs. I don't mind if a paragraph has 7-9 sentences, but try not to go from *sentence - large space - Large paragraph - large space - sentence*; it becomes rather annoying.
Besides that issue, the fic is a definite thumbs up.
GOOD
No visible spelling or grammatical errors, but there are some apostrophe issues here and there. It's nice to have a good setting for each of these 'PWP' chapters. It's a nice read
all 'n all, and I really like the Titania chapter (I admit I'm a fan of that pairing.)
BAD
The biggest (and hopefully only) problem is the layout. First there's single sentences, then there's these large Wall-of-Text paragraphs. I don't mind if a paragraph has 7-9 sentences, but try not to go from *sentence - large space - Large paragraph - large space - sentence*; it becomes rather annoying.
Besides that issue, the fic is a definite thumbs up.
schedule
July 13, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Looking good. Keep it up.
schedule
June 12, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Purely awesome.
schedule
June 11, 2007 at 12:00 AM
MOAR! MOAR!
schedule
May 27, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I'm enjoying your shameless lemon fic; there is far too much yaoi on this site, which sickens me...literally. For that, you are a godsend. Overall, your story is well-written. There is the prior stated apostrophe problem and other minor errors, but they've been ignorable so far. I eagerly await IkexElincia, so keep up the good work.
schedule
May 24, 2007 at 12:00 AM
17 girls. Let's think about this.
If I'm not mistaken, there are 20 girls featured more or less prominently in the game and 14 of those fight in the army (including Ena). I'm going to assume that those 14 will all get it on with Ike at some point.
That leaves six more women, only three of whom will get a chapter in this fic: Sanaki, Sigrun, Petrine, Aimee, Leanne and Red-Haired Tutorial Girl Whose Name I Can Never Remember. I think it's fairly safe to say that Tutorial Girl won't make it. It's very much canon that Aimee really wants to get into Ike's pants, but it's equally canon that Ike wants Aimee to stay out of his pants, so this one can go either way. Petrine, of course, is an enemy, but she's also pretty hot and this is a shameless lemon fanfic, so anything can happen. Sanaki is pretty young, but considering Mist will be banging her brother at some point (otherwise what's that 'Inc' tag for?) that may be not too much of an issue.
So here's my prediction: Titania, Mia, Ilyana, Mist, Marcia, Lethe, Nephenee, Jill, Astrid, Tanith, Calill, Lucia, Elincia, Ena, Sigrun, Leanne and Aimee. I'm not sure about Aimee, she might get swapped out for Petrine, but I'm reasonably sure about the rest.
And now that I've taken up so much time with my pointless rambling, perhaps I should actually say something about the fic itself.
It's het, which isn't much my thing, and Ike wouldn't be my first choice for the main character in a het fic either. So clearly this fic isn't really for me.
Mostly, it's competently done, but you have an obvious apostrophe problem. The whole your/you're thing sometimes crops up, and I think I remember seeing a "her's" at some point.
Furthermore, I don't really like the lay-out. This is a completely personal thing, so no need to pay it too much attention, but still. There are huge spaces between the lines of dialogue, which is fine. But when the sex starts, there're these huge blocks of text that hardly ever get broken up. Suddenly, all that space is gone, replaced by... huge blocks of text. It all looks a bit clunky to me. But like I said, that's my pet peeve, no need to pay it much attention.
So, I guess that's about all and... keep up the good work.
If I'm not mistaken, there are 20 girls featured more or less prominently in the game and 14 of those fight in the army (including Ena). I'm going to assume that those 14 will all get it on with Ike at some point.
That leaves six more women, only three of whom will get a chapter in this fic: Sanaki, Sigrun, Petrine, Aimee, Leanne and Red-Haired Tutorial Girl Whose Name I Can Never Remember. I think it's fairly safe to say that Tutorial Girl won't make it. It's very much canon that Aimee really wants to get into Ike's pants, but it's equally canon that Ike wants Aimee to stay out of his pants, so this one can go either way. Petrine, of course, is an enemy, but she's also pretty hot and this is a shameless lemon fanfic, so anything can happen. Sanaki is pretty young, but considering Mist will be banging her brother at some point (otherwise what's that 'Inc' tag for?) that may be not too much of an issue.
So here's my prediction: Titania, Mia, Ilyana, Mist, Marcia, Lethe, Nephenee, Jill, Astrid, Tanith, Calill, Lucia, Elincia, Ena, Sigrun, Leanne and Aimee. I'm not sure about Aimee, she might get swapped out for Petrine, but I'm reasonably sure about the rest.
And now that I've taken up so much time with my pointless rambling, perhaps I should actually say something about the fic itself.
It's het, which isn't much my thing, and Ike wouldn't be my first choice for the main character in a het fic either. So clearly this fic isn't really for me.
Mostly, it's competently done, but you have an obvious apostrophe problem. The whole your/you're thing sometimes crops up, and I think I remember seeing a "her's" at some point.
Furthermore, I don't really like the lay-out. This is a completely personal thing, so no need to pay it too much attention, but still. There are huge spaces between the lines of dialogue, which is fine. But when the sex starts, there're these huge blocks of text that hardly ever get broken up. Suddenly, all that space is gone, replaced by... huge blocks of text. It all looks a bit clunky to me. But like I said, that's my pet peeve, no need to pay it much attention.
So, I guess that's about all and... keep up the good work.