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September 15, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I just found and enjoyed this. I was recently playing Suikoden 3 (for the first time) and I was moved by the story between Chris and Yun. It would be great if you could finish this fic. I hope to see the ending (I like non-con elements). Well, thanks for writing some Chris x Yun.
SailorNemesis
SailorNemesis
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April 19, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hmmm. I can't say that your warning for the next chapter to come encourages me to see this through, but you're skillful enough that I'm willing to give it a chance. This is written with strong skill, and your knowledge of and insight into Chris Lightfellow's character is excellent. You've also done a very good job with Yun, realistically expanding a character who before had an undeveloped character with a lot of potential that, unfortunately, was necessary not to explore due to the game's plot's events. Very good.
The only real problem with this that I have so far (and I have to say, given what you're hinting at is coming, it probably won't be the only one) is Yumi. She's drastically out of character, to a level that resembles fanfics not even a 10th as good as this one. Your explanation for her angry, jealous, and spiteful attitude and actions in this story is insufficient at best--you're inventing a flimsy excuse, not developing a reason for it. It's an admittedly minor flaw to the work as a whole, but when everything else is thus far very well-crafted, it's all the more shocking to see such an example of poor writing.
Hey, you wanted reviews (don't we all?). So there you go. It's in my nature to be blunt. At any rate, keep writing, and I'll watch for the next part.
The only real problem with this that I have so far (and I have to say, given what you're hinting at is coming, it probably won't be the only one) is Yumi. She's drastically out of character, to a level that resembles fanfics not even a 10th as good as this one. Your explanation for her angry, jealous, and spiteful attitude and actions in this story is insufficient at best--you're inventing a flimsy excuse, not developing a reason for it. It's an admittedly minor flaw to the work as a whole, but when everything else is thus far very well-crafted, it's all the more shocking to see such an example of poor writing.
Hey, you wanted reviews (don't we all?). So there you go. It's in my nature to be blunt. At any rate, keep writing, and I'll watch for the next part.
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April 13, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Gulp...I need a drink...a *cold* drink.
This is unbelievably hot and the level of writing is a cherry on top (dirty pun sooo intended). I beg you for more.
This is unbelievably hot and the level of writing is a cherry on top (dirty pun sooo intended). I beg you for more.