AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for The Newbie

by XxKillerOfDreamsxX

schedule July 19, 2011 at 12:00 AM

I wonder where you had intended to go with this. It is an interesting beginning, if somewhat cliched.

I'm very curious as to the Nutcracker reference as well.

I liked the way you portrayed how lost he was; how he wasn't quite certain how to feel finding out that he was "heartless" - discovering that he cannot feel.

I am curious as to Xemnas' speech as you go into no detail, surely something you intended to explore as the chapters continued.

Should you choose to come back to this piece, I would be interested to see where you take it; will there be plot? Or is the set up in the first chapter just for the porn?