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January 6, 2014 at 12:00 AM
so now Hanson has blackmail/for sex? or does she kill him to?
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January 6, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Thought you said in the forum that "...I'll be restricting the guys who have sex with Lara to just the bosses and their stewards..."? RIGHT.
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January 6, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Just have her debase herself man! Everyones a fucking critic:)
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January 6, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Cool, since he isn't privy to the contract... this is rape. She can kill him for it... right? THAT might make sence
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September 27, 2013 at 12:00 AM
First of all, thanks for a great story. :)
I can't say that I liked all parts of it (some scenes were just too sadistic for my taste) but the writing style, pace and imaginative use of the domination/submission theme were just incredible! Definitely pushed my buttons. Don't care much for physical torture and all that, but the psychological aspect of slow but steady, step-by-step breaking of Lara's will and her enslavement along with all the humiliating "assignments" were all beautifully done. I especially liked how the bad guys use Lara's arousal (via aphrodisiacs etc) as an instrument of control and further subjugation. It's always hotter when the victim is forced to enjoy all those degrading things against her conscious will. In your story it's used with such creativity that it's almost like a sexual brainwashing - when a person is gradually conditioned to associate pleasure with humiliation and submission. Orgasm control and denial was also a very nice touch. Hope it will be used more often in future chapters. :)
On a side note: I got the impression that a change of direction during ch.14-15 (introduction of Everest and all that sub-plot about a conspiracy of evil masterminds bent on revenge against Lara) was not planned from the start. It seems like poor old Gordo is now kept around just for the name's sake (the story is called Fat Man Chronicles so he still has to be in it no matter what, right? :) ). I'm not complaining though - the new Big Bad is even better than a titular fat bastard. :)
I can't say that I liked all parts of it (some scenes were just too sadistic for my taste) but the writing style, pace and imaginative use of the domination/submission theme were just incredible! Definitely pushed my buttons. Don't care much for physical torture and all that, but the psychological aspect of slow but steady, step-by-step breaking of Lara's will and her enslavement along with all the humiliating "assignments" were all beautifully done. I especially liked how the bad guys use Lara's arousal (via aphrodisiacs etc) as an instrument of control and further subjugation. It's always hotter when the victim is forced to enjoy all those degrading things against her conscious will. In your story it's used with such creativity that it's almost like a sexual brainwashing - when a person is gradually conditioned to associate pleasure with humiliation and submission. Orgasm control and denial was also a very nice touch. Hope it will be used more often in future chapters. :)
On a side note: I got the impression that a change of direction during ch.14-15 (introduction of Everest and all that sub-plot about a conspiracy of evil masterminds bent on revenge against Lara) was not planned from the start. It seems like poor old Gordo is now kept around just for the name's sake (the story is called Fat Man Chronicles so he still has to be in it no matter what, right? :) ). I'm not complaining though - the new Big Bad is even better than a titular fat bastard. :)
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September 3, 2013 at 12:00 AM
when I think of Gordo, two words come to mind: gold chain. Now I mean BIG, thick, gold chain. How about Lara discovers such a piece of jewelry that he can't resist wearing; BUT it causes him to feal Lara's nausia as he fucks her? And yet can not bring himself to take it off, and won't let himself stop fucking her? He can't put it together why it's happening. What say you?
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August 25, 2013 at 12:00 AM
inspite of the heinous shit shes being put through - Gordo should have a live, cloriformed, New York tenement rat shoved face first halfway up his colon, and have it shocked awake with a low wattage cattle prod - if she comes out a head, imagine being the first guy she fucks of her own free will... if you can walk, don't forget the stupid smile on your face.
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August 23, 2013 at 12:00 AM
i'm sorry the last guys right, the idea is preposterous .
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August 22, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Wow... you always give me something to shoot for, quality-wise. I loved how things are going all throughout Assignment One.
The Beginning and a New Car were the very models of invading someone's privacy and safety and undermining everything Lara needs to recover. We've established already that her home is where she goes to recuperate, and now whatever space she had had been utterly stripped of her, and they've let her know this now that there's nothing she can do about it. Kitty's treatment of Lara adds spice to what's already pretty fantastic, leading into Young Love.
And Young Love is one of my favorite chapters so far. I love everything that happened here - I remember being a little concerned with some minor details when you were workshopping this on the forums, but you completely dashed every last complaint I might have had. This was perfect, from Lara's humiliation and abuse and her reaction to it, to the giggling teenagers not knowing or caring who they're using, to Kitty's demented sadistic glee all the way to the airport. Freaking great.
Airtime Interlude is right up there, too... from Lara's nightmare to her snide remarks to Gordo and Fernando, Miss Croft is clearly doing her level best to hold onto the person she believes herself to be. The pride she takes in what small victories she had available to her really mark just how far she's falling; basing the strength of her personality on trivial things is a great way to highlight what matters to her and how far she's being pushed. Gordo and Fernando's responses are equally great.
Arrival is also a hell of a lot of fun, and does a wonderful job of setting up whatever's to follow. I love how envious Dr. Hanson is of Lara and the successes she's had, while still being dependent upon her. I love everything about this character - a small time professional blaming his failing on Lara, who in many ways has made herself more than human. I also love the way he casually lusts after her while explaining his actions towards her away to himself. He's believably horrible and kind of pathetic, and his use of her is all the hotter because of it.
Great series of chapters, man. Can't wait for more.
The Beginning and a New Car were the very models of invading someone's privacy and safety and undermining everything Lara needs to recover. We've established already that her home is where she goes to recuperate, and now whatever space she had had been utterly stripped of her, and they've let her know this now that there's nothing she can do about it. Kitty's treatment of Lara adds spice to what's already pretty fantastic, leading into Young Love.
And Young Love is one of my favorite chapters so far. I love everything that happened here - I remember being a little concerned with some minor details when you were workshopping this on the forums, but you completely dashed every last complaint I might have had. This was perfect, from Lara's humiliation and abuse and her reaction to it, to the giggling teenagers not knowing or caring who they're using, to Kitty's demented sadistic glee all the way to the airport. Freaking great.
Airtime Interlude is right up there, too... from Lara's nightmare to her snide remarks to Gordo and Fernando, Miss Croft is clearly doing her level best to hold onto the person she believes herself to be. The pride she takes in what small victories she had available to her really mark just how far she's falling; basing the strength of her personality on trivial things is a great way to highlight what matters to her and how far she's being pushed. Gordo and Fernando's responses are equally great.
Arrival is also a hell of a lot of fun, and does a wonderful job of setting up whatever's to follow. I love how envious Dr. Hanson is of Lara and the successes she's had, while still being dependent upon her. I love everything about this character - a small time professional blaming his failing on Lara, who in many ways has made herself more than human. I also love the way he casually lusts after her while explaining his actions towards her away to himself. He's believably horrible and kind of pathetic, and his use of her is all the hotter because of it.
Great series of chapters, man. Can't wait for more.
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August 22, 2013 at 12:00 AM
I have a small issue to point out. the whole premise is that a man video tapped himself raping a woman hadcuffed to a table at gunpoint... that is what she's afraid of getting out to the point shes willing to voluntarily go through any of it? how many rapists publicly flaunt the fact? How many courts make it public? I get it... fantasy. STILL all she has to do is kill fat fuck... even at this stage, then Everest will be the only one left holding her card... then - take his dick off if he doesn't free her - then kill him to. The end