rate_review Reviews

Oh so nicely done! Interesting portrayal of it not being love but lust by which they are interacting.

YEAH! I really enjoy this story. I'll read the last chapter when you update.

Yeah, I suppose trying to write say, a 60 and have them NOT come across as an overpowered uber-character would be difficult. Doable, but difficult.

And I see we have a crossover with your other series. Intriguing... a bit of insight into Kalderin's past, looks like fun.

All I really have to say about this is more. More explosions! More battles! And of course, more sex.

*applaudes* Very nicely done! I like how you switched between the two settings and characters in a seamless manner. Good job. Yay for plot devices! And other devices of course }:->

While that's very true, it's important to keep in mind that the good traits of a character are just as vital as the bad in identifying with them. Adding in flaws for the sole purpose of avoiding Mary-Suedom tends to have irritating results. In some cases, I've seen it actually lead to the removal of the traits that made the character fun to read in the first place.

I tend to avoid throwing the term "Mary Sue" out unless it's apparent that the author is already heading in that direction, and I really don't see any signs of that here. The characters seem to be interesting and well-rounded. If I might ask, what exactly was it that lead you to think the protagonist here was turning into a Mary Sue? I might be able to see where you're coming from better if I knew that.

:D They are engineers.. This could get interesting!

See - Orgasmic Profillerator(SP?) by Biff somewhere on the WoW ones to get my meaning XD

Very good however, it has the makings of (and is atm) a good story :D

Good stuff! More please!

This is a fun one. I noticed you were starting to worry about your main character becoming a so-called "Mary Sue", thanks to a previous reviewer, so I thought I'd share a bit of advice with you about that.

First off, despite what everyone tells you, the main problem with Mary Sues is not that they are all-powerful, or that they have absolutely no character flaws. That's annoying, but a good author can sometimes make even a character like that into something that's fun to read (besides, a high-level WoW character is already absurdly powerful). The real problem with Mary Sues is that everyone, and I mean EVERYONE in the story, acts OOC around them, usually either loving or hating them to an extreme degree (and the "haters" are usually portrayed as pure evil), and that they, themselves, don't seem to have any interesting or distinguishing character traits (be they good points, flaws, or just little quirks).

A cast of all OCs, of course, makes this problem both easier and harder to overcome. Easier, because no one can tell you when someone is acting OOC (at least, not until they've gotten quite a ways into the fic), and harder, because you are going to have to design OCs that are actually well-rounded enough that their reactions to each other seem natural.

Fortunately, you seem to be doing a bang-up job on that so far. I especially like the Paladin Claris (WoW fics need more dwarf love!). I look forward to more from you.

Yay I get nothing! Woohoo! Now though...I ponder why an Orc was after our favvie gnome engineer? Hmmm *ponders* Interesting pieces of character development you've included, I do so enjoy it when you do that.

Just responding to Noname; I agree with you there, but a protagonist shouldn't be flawless simpley because they need to develop as people so the readers can form a respect and maybe even a comparison and empathy in accordence to their own life.

Ow... Sorry 'bout your face, but I'm a hunter/tailor/enchanter. Not a thing I can do. May I suggest a hat perhaps=P I can do that

I'm really loving this racial hatred, opens alot of great possibilities!

Can't wait to see what you'll do with this=)