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May 15, 2010 at 12:00 AM
What a sinfully delicious and succulent morsel here. It really is everything a lemony one-shot should be. The whole thing feels so wrong, and I know we're not supposed to think this would ever happen, but Anise and Jade are both totally believable and you brought out the absolute best of their characters--their speech, their gestures, and their reactions are all so vibrant and convincing. Your imagery is so effective too, like the one of Anise standing with her hands on her hips. And the lemon itself is really well done--it takes its time, warms itself up, then backs back down with some more really well thought-out conversations, and then goes all out...but it's equally arousing from start to finish. I could take any section of it that maybe takes about 5 minutes to read, and I'll be just as happy as I am by reading the whole story.
Great piece. Anise/Jade is a rare (and let's face it, it's a daring) combination, but now I really want to see more if it.
Great piece. Anise/Jade is a rare (and let's face it, it's a daring) combination, but now I really want to see more if it.
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March 9, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Really good story. I thought the characters were very true to form, despite being in a surreal situation.
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February 5, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Wow :D another TOTA lemon fic and its hetero *chuckles* well-written, decent, and saucy boy x girl action is getting harder to find these days.
I must applaud you for keeping Jade well in character (besides the pedo ^^0 action). He can be complex for some writers but you pulled him off VERY well and that is one of the reasons I bothered reading and reviewing your smutfic (Jade is one of my fav characters and since I read it all the way through I felt it was only fair to tell you what I thought because there are people like myself who enjoy feedback). I highly doubt Jade would go after a 13 year old but in the world of fanfiction ANYTHING is possible. I also wanted to tell you that your writing is very neat ^^ most lemon writers suck these days (including myself but hey XD that is what constructive criticism, proof and beta readers are for).
Looking over your entire one-shot XD I found it interesting because of your style of writing but sick because of the pedo action since I don't and will not support that kind of stuff lol.
I encourage you to keep writing about different couples for the TOTA category because we sure could use a variety at this site and FF.net ^^ since you DO have some serious skills.
Hehe good luck with future stories. ^_^
I must applaud you for keeping Jade well in character (besides the pedo ^^0 action). He can be complex for some writers but you pulled him off VERY well and that is one of the reasons I bothered reading and reviewing your smutfic (Jade is one of my fav characters and since I read it all the way through I felt it was only fair to tell you what I thought because there are people like myself who enjoy feedback). I highly doubt Jade would go after a 13 year old but in the world of fanfiction ANYTHING is possible. I also wanted to tell you that your writing is very neat ^^ most lemon writers suck these days (including myself but hey XD that is what constructive criticism, proof and beta readers are for).
Looking over your entire one-shot XD I found it interesting because of your style of writing but sick because of the pedo action since I don't and will not support that kind of stuff lol.
I encourage you to keep writing about different couples for the TOTA category because we sure could use a variety at this site and FF.net ^^ since you DO have some serious skills.
Hehe good luck with future stories. ^_^