AFF Fiction Portal
person Gremlin
schedule December 11, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Woa! woa! Listen there, umm, Son of a bitch. The author can write whatever the hell she feels like writing. Read another story if you don't like this one. There's plenty out there. Shoo now.
person Son of a bitch
schedule December 9, 2006 at 12:00 AM
ew, your gay! when will people stop writing yaoi? stop it!
schedule November 29, 2006 at 12:00 AM
A so-so attempt. The main issue with this is both Sonic & Manic seem to lack the motivation for them to go screwing each other. It would've been fair enough if they were just having a play around, but there was no indication of that. I did like the comment about them being apart for 16 years though.

For future chapters, try to establish a basic sense of emotion between the two before you dive right into the action, which was rather well done. ^^