schedule
October 26, 2006 at 12:00 AM
There are quite a few things that are wrong with this historically (namely Ranmaru being the youngest--that isn't true), but since this is fanfiction and you did clearly state that it was historically inaccurate, I'll leave that alone.
It's written fairly well, I suppose. It does leave quite a bit of room for improvement, namely Ranmaru's character. It doesn't seem to fit with what Samurai Warriors gives us as a character. Along with that, I found that I was neutral to the fact that Ranmaru's house was destroyed. You didn't develop any of the characters well enough for the reader to grow close, be able to feel any sort of remorse for them.
Please don't take this review as a flame, because it's not. I think that if you took more time into writing your story, developing it more, you would have a solid piece of work.
It's written fairly well, I suppose. It does leave quite a bit of room for improvement, namely Ranmaru's character. It doesn't seem to fit with what Samurai Warriors gives us as a character. Along with that, I found that I was neutral to the fact that Ranmaru's house was destroyed. You didn't develop any of the characters well enough for the reader to grow close, be able to feel any sort of remorse for them.
Please don't take this review as a flame, because it's not. I think that if you took more time into writing your story, developing it more, you would have a solid piece of work.
schedule
October 22, 2006 at 12:00 AM
i think this is a really good story so far so plz could u carry on?