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November 2, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I like the direction you’re taking this story, and you’re a really talented writer, good job!
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October 18, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Oh, now I get it...that your using the third game as a base for the AU. Duh. I swear, sometimes I'm a little slow. Nice chapters over all, I like the fact Claudia made her appearance finally--for some reason, I really like her. Creepy bitch. Anyway, I'll try and read this fic on Ff.net so I can peek at future parts. I like to know where you'll take this...and how certain elements will fall into place. BTW, I HATED that stupid book puzzle. HATED IT. LOL. I feel Alessa's pain.
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October 12, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Reminds me of the opening to SH3 and that damn amusement park they threw you in right off the bat. At least with SH2...you got to wander with no weapon and "no monsters" and were relatively safe. You took a familiar opening and changed it though...I thought the roller coaster would knock her off, but you had it crumble instead. The glass on the stairs was a nice touch. I also caught the little innuendo's about Silent Hill, and the fact there was an incident involving Ms. "Summers." I like to see where you'll differ the orignal story to suit this plotline. Look forward to more.
As for as grammar and such..notices some passive phrases...but then again--every writer has issues with those. I won't list them here, since that would be rude. But other than that, your style is nice, you don't overload the descriptions, or adverbs--you don't switch POV (granted it was only Alessa's anyway, but still I wanted to mention that...lol.)All in all nothing major to nit pick--which made for a pleasant read.
As for as grammar and such..notices some passive phrases...but then again--every writer has issues with those. I won't list them here, since that would be rude. But other than that, your style is nice, you don't overload the descriptions, or adverbs--you don't switch POV (granted it was only Alessa's anyway, but still I wanted to mention that...lol.)All in all nothing major to nit pick--which made for a pleasant read.