rate_review Reviews

Wow Chapter 3 sure as hell surprise me, that was definitely wasn’t what I expected from Luserina I thought she would be more virginal inline with game’s Luserina but this was a good surprise I enjoy that she took charge I also found the added touch of anilingus. The Belcoot & Marina was good. I actually would like to see more of the 2 heck maybe a threesome with Prince. since the Prince are good friends hell the were almost Brother in-laws however I don’t think the prince & Belcoot should any sexual things together unlike the Prince Belcoot doesn’t strike me as bi-sexual. I like how you have Kyle trying to get the Prince to check out the ladies with him. The chapter did have some minor spelling errors and some spots seem rush but still it was a good chapter. I know you are trying to stay with the feel of the game by not having the Prince talk or show much emotion or even be call by a name and you have done it in a good way and some readers like that. However in my opinion trying to keep that up will get old, I would like the Prince to actually speak and interact with the people of the castle plus it would make him more realistic. I mean are we to believe that the Prince can lead a army but can’t ever get more than 2 words out of his mouth .One last thing I know you gave the Prince a name at the beginning of chapter1 but I would like to see it use more it’s ok for most the castle to call him Prince as a show respect to him and his title but I think he’s close friends such as Kyle and Lyon and his aunt Sialeeds should call him by his name at lest when not in a formal setting. Any keep up the good work and I hope would get computer problem taken care of.



PS.
Sorry to go on a rant there and it wasn’t meant to be a shot to you it’s more a shot to the game mechanics and Konami, I mean for crying out loud the days of the silent heroes died out in the mid 90’s

Very good, It's nice to see another great Suikoden story. Suikoden deserves more good stories.

Hm, nice to see more good Suikoden stuff! Good writing, not perfect, but without nitpicking too much, I'll just point out few things in the first chapter. First of all, I was wondering what it was that was messing up the layout, and it turned out to be Egbert's huge written-together line. You should put a few spaces in there, just a few not to mess up Egbert's style from the game.

From the eating scene, when you list all the characters and then directly continue with "wolfing down a meal", it gives the impression that all the characters are acting the same way. I'm not sure if it was intentional, but I really can't see Luserina, Raja and Lucretia "wolfing down" the food the same way that Logg and even Lun would.

I know you also said you wouldn't be faithful to the game's script, but it was a bit weird to see Raja talking like Logg. For Lun, it was easier to take in, since her style is much closer to her father's, anyway, although still on a higher level.

But with that, the first chapter was a good introduction, and the Prince's line right at the end of the training session was quite amusing. The scene with Lun was nice.

The scene with Jeane in chapter 2 was quite hot, however! For some strange reason, I didn't really like Jeane 5 in the game, but you've done a great deal to raise her appeal. I don't know why it is, but the image of Jeane topless, but not bottomless, her full bosoms out in the open, was very sexy! Thinking of her with a sheen of sweat on her bare skin as she tries to cool off... ah yes. The facial was very sexy too, as well as the scene where she's inviting the Prince to eat her out. However, I think it's a bit much to have her come so soon, and then once more again.

Nice ending to chapter 2. Both the scene of the Prince licking her out on her booth and the messages in the comment box were very nice on their own!

So far, the cumshots with Jeane and Lun were described nicely, with the cum dripping from inside them, or splashed on the thighs of the women... although, when the Prince licks Jeane again, I was left wondering whether she had cleaned up or not. :P

As for pairings, I'm behind Prince x Luserina, and I also think that Killey x Lorelai x Viki threesome could be interesting... or a foursome with Zweig.

Thank you so much for your reviews! Some great ones here too! *sniffle*

To address:

Raja: I tried to write her as the game did: down to earth and to the point. However, when/if she gets more lines, I'll try to emulate her more realistically.

As for the updates, I absolutely plan to make more chapters soon, but my computer is HORRIBLE. It will shut itself off at a moment's notice. So, its highly likely you won't see an update for about two weeks, as I'm going to visit my granparents and then HOPEFULLY get a new computer.

So...um...thank you very much, and do keep checking in and reviewing, I may surprise you with a new chapter. XP

I love it keep them coming

Keep it coming

*fapfapfapfap*

u r really good. Still waiting fer some pairings and chaps.

Dude, you are now the coolest person in the world, finally, a GOOD Jeane story. I would like to thank you. So thank you, hahaha.

Hey, not bad! I was particularly impressed with how you managed to pull off the mute, nameless prince without comprimising anything from the game. I hope you keep writing this story. Maybe the next chapter could include Belcoot and Hazuki who's obviously fucking in love with him. Belcoot seems sort of at ease with himself, so she'd probably have to seduce him. And, though it may be a little uncouth of me to say so, I would love to see some Sialeeds/Prince action.

Ho.. u did good. I love ur story. Keep it up.

Waiting fer alot of pairings in later on chapter. (^O^)/

Three fingers salute! Sieg!

Thanks all for your reviews, I'm busily conceptualizing the next chapter, which should be more of the characters doing silly stuff around teh castle.

As for the pairings, I'm saving Sialeeds, so I'll either do a Prince/Jeane or a Prince/Luserina, or if I'm feeling lazy I'll do an oral Prince/Kisara.

Just to keep you waitin! My PC sucks ass, so writing is difficult, but I'll try to get it done by next week!