rate_review Reviews

I like how you portray the Malkavian lolli

insane but devious

It's so tragic when people write the best stories ...so that even though you don't really read the fandom much you check back every couple days just to see if there's an update.. and they just stop, exactly when things are getting most exciting.

It's such a fine story, I do hope you decide to take it up again.

Aside from a few odd tense-shifts (narrative suddenly going from past to present tense, then back again), and a few grammar and spelling issues, I really like this story so far. While Stephan is a little too stony for my tastes for me to find really engaging personally, I like all the other characters you've come up with (it's nice to see that Lolli, while a Malkavian and obviously a little unhinged, doesn't have the stereotypical bat-shit madness a lot of writers tend to fall back on), and the way you're wrapping the layers of intrigue around one another. I hope you continue with this, because I'd like to see where you're going with it. Cheers!

This is so well written! Well developed characters, an interesting storyline - I'm enjoying every minute of it. I hope you continue with it, as I'm on the edge of my seat.

I had to laugh at the end...

"Do I have to get naked?"

Lol nice. You've expressed what a daughter of Malka should act like.

Wonderful Chapeter!

The plot thickens...and through e-mail no less. Seems to parralel the real world in that respect, people say something different to everyone else.

Impressive. Most impressive.

A suggestion: Slow your writing down just a small ammount, I see word misplacements in this piece (Things spell check won't pick up ex. piece/peace) often enough, and though it doesn't kill the story, it does snap me back to reality in the reading of it.

Cant wait for an up-date

This is one the best written fanfiction I have read. Also there are so few for the Vampire the Masquerade game which has a great world to work with. Can't wait to see were you go with this story.