rate_review Reviews

This keeps getting better and better.

I continue to love the story. Chapter 5 was little creepy with the whole Kino thing and the way Jeane acts but then again Jeane has always been creepy in a hot sexy way so it fits perfect. I continue to love Kyle and the interaction between him and the other characters, especially the way him and Faroush act together it would make a good read and most likely very funny to see them go on the prowl together. Love the teasing between Faroush, Miakis, and Lyon. Also as I said before I really like the fact that even though the Prince enjoys sex and many partners you emphases that him and Lyon truly love each other and that they can’t get enough of each other. I can’t wait to see more and can already tell that chapter 6 will interesting heck that’s a understatement.

Whew, I see you've been very productive. Chapter 2 is a little weird, I guess it's intentional because of the Sun Rune. Chapter 3 was a great read again, I was surprised at how it went. The Prince's burst of rage felt a little out of character, even with the Rage Rune, but the later part about the Rage Rune's more subtle influence felt more natural, and a surprising plot element to bring the whole group into a group sex session. Many great scenes in there, like the idea of Lyon sensing the Prince is in trouble and rushing through the castle, _naked_ with Miakis, to the War Room, and then the "This is an emergency! He needs pussy right now!", hah. Also funny was the note about Josephine.

The sex scene was elaborate and enjoyable, I don't think mine are really that much better. There's a few things I could comment on, though. "Lucretia didn’t think that anyone had come yet, not once." - I noticed that as well, much before it was mentioned, and I do think that the group's climaxes could have used a little more attention. Of course, you might have noticed that I'm fond of multiclimactic sex scenes. However, it seems that only The Prince, of course, and Lucretia were mentioned coming separately, with the others lumped together with one "they came". I especially felt sorry for Cius, who seemed to be pushed aside during the whole scene, and then I wasn't even sure if he had even got an orgasm out of it all. Lucretia's attitude during the fic is surprisingly rigid and uncompromising, especially considering the runic influence she, too, is under.

Another note is that I'm not so sure if you should give so much attention to the apparent hugeness of the Prince's member. Of course, when the observers are female, the Dawn influence could alter their perception so that his piece seems much larger than it actually is, in comparison as well. However, when he already has the Dawn Rune going for him, I don't think he needs a giant cock.

Heh, was there anything else, now? Nice messy cumshot scene in the end there, even though it felt more like they were getting sprayed by a cum hose ("neverending stream") than a spurting penis.

In the end, enjoyed reading it and hope to see more if you've got the stamina! I'm a much slower writer than you, it seems...

Oops, sorry for the double post. That one thing more I had was about Miakis, or more precisely, her ass. I don't think the game quite supports the idea of nonexistent hips and flat ass, seeing how said features are well represented in the game, also taking note of her curious walking style.

Thanks so much for all the reviews. Keep them coming and I will have another chapter out soon. I appreciate the constructive criticism, Streti. I agree mostly and have fixed Miakis's discription. (I'm still not happy with my physical descriptions...just laundry lists of body parts...ugh...) I'm unfortunately working from memory, my game borrowed at the moment, and not able to find as many pictures as I hoped online. I will include a flashback to Faroush and Sialeeds, but that will come after the next chapter. And I'm definitely planning on including Jeane! Blue Cloud, I'll point you towards Streti's "Suikoden II: Good Clean Fun" The second chapter has her as the focus.

Thanks again. And I must say that this level of output won't last. In fact, by the end of next week, the story will be on a 2 month hiatus unfortunately. Going where there aren't any computers...at least not for me anyway... I'll continue again in September. But for now...I should get out a few more chapters before the break.

You might be able to find pics at www.suikosource.com in the forums

Jeanes, you beautiful son of a bitch, I love you. Keep writing the story; it's great work. Just the type of ongoing series-type chronicle I was hoping for.

I thought would let you know that technically the Dawn rune is not a True Rune it's a really special rune but not a True Rune, it's a unique rune that was a by product of the Split between the Sun Rune and Night Rune. But this doesn't really hurt your story at all. This story has really interesting plot. I would love to see more. And don't worry about going on a hiatus it will keep you from getting burn out on writing. And when you get back we'll be waiting for more.

Wow You captured Kyle’s personality perfect. As I have said before you for the most part captured the personality of all the characters and they are true to the game, Except for Lucretia in the game, she seems to have mellow personality and open to things. Yes she does have a serious side to her but for the most she keeps it hidden. Also she seems to be more accepting to people’s quirks and not easily annoyed. I hope that later on that we’ll see a Lucretia closer to the game’s if not that’s ok. Also I love the use of humor.

I also saw that in chapter4 that you seem to be working onto other characters escapades such as Roy’s attempt to see Kisara’s breasts, this is a great move as it keep the story from just being the Prince’s show. Also don’t be sorry about the lack of sex, you don’t have to a sex scene every chapter as this allow the plot and characters to have development. Plus it can be frustrating to come up new sex scene. Also don’t feel like that you need to rush the Sialeeds flashback, yes we all want to see it but you don’t have to rush it. Take your time to write it. Find a reason for the flashback to fit, also you might want to devote a whole chapter or 2 to it. Because lets face it incest isn’t something that should just happen it takes some time to develop. Also for a future chapter I would like to see Lucretia /Cathari they know each other from the past, plus it could make for a sexy and funny I can see Lelei getting so jealous. Also it would be good to see Faylen finally get Roy or maybe She would hook up with the Prince to make Roy jealous or she could even try to get with Lyon just to see what the big deal is with her.

Any way keep up the good story. I loving plot of the runes just one thing I thought that it was rare for someone’s emotions to be effected by rune but now it’s seem a everyone if feeling the effects as seen by the actions Faylen. Now this could because of the Prince’s Dawn Rune is effecting everyone’s rune if so that’s a nice concept. Can’t wait to see what Kisara does to Roy and his gang I just hope she doesn’t go to hard on them for just being the way the are.

Sorry about the longwinded review, keep up the good work. Just don’t burn yourself out

I loved Chapter 3. I love the idea of runes effecting emotions.