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July 4, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Just got done reading chapter 8. A very good chapter but just when the main event is getting ready to happen you drop a bombshell. Very good way to end the chapter. I just hope that what I think is going to happen doesn't. BTW was this your last chapter before your break or do you have one more in you? If this is the last chapter for awhile I can't wait for your return.
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July 4, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Such creativity!
Good work on the new chapters!.. So much teasing and flirting going on so
I don't even know where to begin. Kisara got her revenge in a somewhat unexpected fashion
though it kinda backfired a little. You've really managed to squeeze alot of characters
and events into your story and yet it isn't confusing.
It seems like the nudity has become less embarassing throughout the story and if that
continues I guess it'll end up with a mass orgy in the castle yard. =P
Seriously, I loved the eight chapter, especially your description of the prince in the last part
and how the tension is building up between him and Kisara. So please, please, continue!
I'm very glad to hear that my drawing inspired you. Streti's stories has
inspired me alot and so do your, so I'll see what I can do about that Arshtat request.
Keep it up!
Good work on the new chapters!.. So much teasing and flirting going on so
I don't even know where to begin. Kisara got her revenge in a somewhat unexpected fashion
though it kinda backfired a little. You've really managed to squeeze alot of characters
and events into your story and yet it isn't confusing.
It seems like the nudity has become less embarassing throughout the story and if that
continues I guess it'll end up with a mass orgy in the castle yard. =P
Seriously, I loved the eight chapter, especially your description of the prince in the last part
and how the tension is building up between him and Kisara. So please, please, continue!
I'm very glad to hear that my drawing inspired you. Streti's stories has
inspired me alot and so do your, so I'll see what I can do about that Arshtat request.
Keep it up!
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July 3, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 6 had some funny moments, Also even though they were only involved for a sec I like that you added some original characters. I like the idea of Kisara wanting to adopt Roy and crew. can't wait to see chapter 7
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July 3, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Thanks for all the reviews. I think I may be able to put out one more long chapter and then I'm probably done for a couple of months. Whether I manage to or not depends on whether I keep getting responses.
Mcdohl, thanks I wanted actually give some personality to the nameless denizens of the castle and I'll probably continue to do so, I'm sure we'll be seeing more of Locke and Max.
Jace, I love your artwork! I was totally referring to your picture of Kisara in chapter 6. You captured her so perfectly! Also loved your Jeane and Lymsleia as well. And if you're doing anymore...all I can say is I'd love to see an Arshtat....in fact if you do I will definitely add the rest of that bathing scene at some point. (though just your comment will probably have me do it anyway...I was thinking about it...)
Streti, I'm glad you enjoyed my portrayal of Jeane and Kyle. It's this kind of response that keeps me writing. I'm not sure if I'll go that way with Zerase, though I enjoyed your story with Jeane and Raura, I'm not really comfortable writing that sort of thing. It is a great idea though.
And with the introduction of Yuber, I'm actually going to have a plotline that doesn't isn't mostly just fun sexual hijinks...what I'm planning is almost epic...but we won't get to the good stuff till after my break...Thanks again!
Mcdohl, thanks I wanted actually give some personality to the nameless denizens of the castle and I'll probably continue to do so, I'm sure we'll be seeing more of Locke and Max.
Jace, I love your artwork! I was totally referring to your picture of Kisara in chapter 6. You captured her so perfectly! Also loved your Jeane and Lymsleia as well. And if you're doing anymore...all I can say is I'd love to see an Arshtat....in fact if you do I will definitely add the rest of that bathing scene at some point. (though just your comment will probably have me do it anyway...I was thinking about it...)
Streti, I'm glad you enjoyed my portrayal of Jeane and Kyle. It's this kind of response that keeps me writing. I'm not sure if I'll go that way with Zerase, though I enjoyed your story with Jeane and Raura, I'm not really comfortable writing that sort of thing. It is a great idea though.
And with the introduction of Yuber, I'm actually going to have a plotline that doesn't isn't mostly just fun sexual hijinks...what I'm planning is almost epic...but we won't get to the good stuff till after my break...Thanks again!
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July 3, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Add moar chappies! >O Need moar of this stuff... Cant stop from reading ur stories.
Imma currently writing a Suiko2 and Suiko5 faics. But no ideas... >.>
Imma currently writing a Suiko2 and Suiko5 faics. But no ideas... >.>
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July 3, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I love that this might turn into a epic. also I would love to see more of the Prince and Arshtat also love to see a flash back to the Prince and sialeeds first time together also hope for a Prince/Arshtat/Sialeeds flashback
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July 3, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I love that you plan to have a real plotline, and it would cool if you go a different path than the game which it looks like you are with the addition of Yuber I would love to see Sialeeds not die and rejoin the Prince’s army. I love that in chapter 7 that Alenia is basically Sialeeds’ bitch. I would also like to see more original characters even if they just in minor parts because it makes the Prince’s army seem bigger and more important than just having the 108 stars. Still hoping to see a flashback of the Prince and Sialeeds’ first sexual encounter but I can wait also since you enlighten us of the fact that Sialeeds and Arshtat had a sexual relationship would love to see a Prince/Sialeeds/Arshtat threesome or a Prince/Sialeeds/Arshtat/Lyon foursome. Can’t wait to see more it looks that with Yuber coming this story is about to take a bloody and dark turn and most likey more fighting action and battles.I just hope you don‘t kill any of the stars or at lest not for awhile , I could probably go on and on but I think that’s about it.
It sucks that you’ll been gone for a few months but I’ll be eagerly waiting your return
It sucks that you’ll been gone for a few months but I’ll be eagerly waiting your return
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July 2, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I don't think Chapter 4 was all that dark. Rather, your continued elaboration on how the runes work was quite interesting, going further into their influence and their character, how they are used. The scene with Kisara was harmless fun - at least until the shredding of her clothes, but I guess she will have spares? :)
Kyle's introduction in chapter 5 is great. I think you've presented his character better than the game itself! Really, that was a fun read. The part with Jeane was good, too, giving the impression that the nondescript men working as Jeane's substitutes when she's gone are actually in some kind of a trance. It could certainly be believed with their demeanor ingame! Also, that ending line is absolute fantastic, 'Miakis was so _relieved_ as she said, “I want you to fuck the Prince.”' (emphasis added) I could even kinda imagine an exclamation point at the end, there.
Now, Zerase was not one of my favorite characters, but in case you are going to include her, I want to share one idea about her: "Sword of Night: When the Night Rune turned into Zodiac / Star Dragon Sword, it cast away the Star Rune, with the power to summon on its own a different kind of a "sword", a fleshy reminder of the Zodiac / SD Sword. Some nights, the snappity and tense sorceress, Zerase, just can't keep from (ab)using that power."
Kyle's introduction in chapter 5 is great. I think you've presented his character better than the game itself! Really, that was a fun read. The part with Jeane was good, too, giving the impression that the nondescript men working as Jeane's substitutes when she's gone are actually in some kind of a trance. It could certainly be believed with their demeanor ingame! Also, that ending line is absolute fantastic, 'Miakis was so _relieved_ as she said, “I want you to fuck the Prince.”' (emphasis added) I could even kinda imagine an exclamation point at the end, there.
Now, Zerase was not one of my favorite characters, but in case you are going to include her, I want to share one idea about her: "Sword of Night: When the Night Rune turned into Zodiac / Star Dragon Sword, it cast away the Star Rune, with the power to summon on its own a different kind of a "sword", a fleshy reminder of the Zodiac / SD Sword. Some nights, the snappity and tense sorceress, Zerase, just can't keep from (ab)using that power."
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July 2, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Splendid!
I'm happy to see another good writer that can transfer the greatness of suikodenV into a lemon.
There are some really nice scenes in there and I like how you use the runes to affect the characters feelings.
I think the tension between Kisara and the prince could turn into a nice steaming event, though I found her
humiliation to be abit too harsch. I can't wait to see her getting revenge. I also hope you'll reveal what
was about to happened in the bath with Arshtat when Lucretia interrupted in the chapter 2 flashback.
The fifth chapter was such a tease so please keep writing as long as you have the urge to! Keep it up!
/JACE
I'm happy to see another good writer that can transfer the greatness of suikodenV into a lemon.
There are some really nice scenes in there and I like how you use the runes to affect the characters feelings.
I think the tension between Kisara and the prince could turn into a nice steaming event, though I found her
humiliation to be abit too harsch. I can't wait to see her getting revenge. I also hope you'll reveal what
was about to happened in the bath with Arshtat when Lucretia interrupted in the chapter 2 flashback.
The fifth chapter was such a tease so please keep writing as long as you have the urge to! Keep it up!
/JACE
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July 1, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Tease! Keep writing!
Seriously though, I think I'd like to see...Hmm...Lun in the story. Oh, or maybe the swordswoman that always follows Belcoot! Man, there are a lot to pick from, what with there being like sixty girls in the game. More if you count the enemies. Oh, and Alenia!
Alright, alright. If I keep tossing these out you'd never finish the story. Altough if ift just extended forever, that wouldn't be so bad either. Heh.
Seriously though, I think I'd like to see...Hmm...Lun in the story. Oh, or maybe the swordswoman that always follows Belcoot! Man, there are a lot to pick from, what with there being like sixty girls in the game. More if you count the enemies. Oh, and Alenia!
Alright, alright. If I keep tossing these out you'd never finish the story. Altough if ift just extended forever, that wouldn't be so bad either. Heh.