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October 9, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Hey man this is the best story on here
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October 9, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Man it's seems the plot is getting little more dark not that that is a bad in fact that is a good thing.
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October 8, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Mm, that was an enjoyable Chapter 15. It really did have a lot of everything, and I think it was balanced out well. Nice events going in the infirmary again! I was reading that and about Faylen, though, I couldn't help think if you're going to bring in another Star of Destiny to replace Faylon. Also, in that scene, there's a crucial comma missing when Silva enters and shakes her head. The scenes with the Blinking runes were quite interesting and imaginative, too.
Also, it's nice to see such a huge reference to Suikoden IV, which is one of my favorite games despite the general opinion. Lazlo's behavior was surprising but understandable, given the Rune of Punishment.
I'll touch briefly upon the earlier chapters, too. The tavern scene was quite exciting, although I felt it would have had enough momentum to develop on its own without Jeane's urging. The scene between Jeane and Zerase was interesting, though.
And then, the great bath scene. It really was an enjoyable read, but if there's something that was missing, I couldn't help but be disappointed with the lack of a cumshot scene, especially when the Prince continues by having quite a longish romp with Lyon without much fanfare. And that is why I decided to offer my own, if that is alright with you. It is intended to go between the lines 'Arshtat smiled at her son’s mischievous smirk and she laid back, her body so tired as she continued to pull on his long cock trying to get his hot cum.' and '“Besides…I think Lyon deserves a little attention…”' without any need for rewriting. And it would go as thus:
Faroush's eyes darted back to Arshtat's impressive babyfeeders.
"As for your other offer, dear mother... you don't know how long I've wanted to fuck those gorgeous tits of yours!"
"Ooh," she meowled, positively surprised, and stopped tugging on her son's lengthy manhood to press her breasts together into position. Faroush took a few steps forward to kneel over Arshtat, and Lyon followed her Prince, pressing her naked slippery body against his back and placing kiss after kiss on his skin with passion. Faroush then fed his huge prick into the Queen's slick cleavage and started wildly fucking his mother's slippery mammaries, while she encouraged him and gave his cockhead licks when she could. His massive cock easily extended from her jugs to her mouth, and even though Arshtat's lust had just recently been sated, she got excited by the sight and smell.
"Come on, Faroush! Give it to me! I want your cum!" she said, opened her mouth to its fullest and stuck out her tongue.
It was all too much for Faroush, and he gave in, exploding in his mind and sending a torrent of his jizz over the Queen's face. She had been expecting those huge, heavy balls to carry a big load, but she was still surprised of much goopy spooge her son was bathing her in. A lot was directed at her mouth, and she got a mouth's full of a taste of his spunk, until she couldn't swallow anymore and let the excess leak from her mouth, joining the sticky stuff already on her face and in her hair.
Meanwhile, as the Prince was still going through his orgasm, Lyon had taken to stroking his enormous cock and fondling his balls to coach his seed out to the last drop, which was a long time in coming. Faroush's cock was spurting endlessly, and the Queen's breasts were already covered, while the rest of his cum was running down her body.
When Faroush finally recovered and could look Arshat in the eye, she said to him, "Oh, you naughty boy... You've given back all the milk you suckled from these teats manyfold."
He could only flash a silly grin, but Lyon was already on the job, greedily lapping the Prince's milk from the Queen's skin. Faroush already felt a few jolts in his spent and slimy piece, when Lyon and his mother shared a few sticky wet kisses, and more when his bodyguard Arshat's round, cumcovered tits clean. Then she moved behind Faroush to lick Arshtat's lower body clean.
Arshtat touched Faroush's softening cock lightly and said, "At least let me clean this."
Faroush obliged and let her take his still large piece in her mouth to suck and lick off whatever fluids were left on it, and was surprised when Faroush started hardening again this soon. Finished cleaning him up, she asked him, "Are you sure you don't want to... you know..."
"You haven't recovered enough!" said Faroush and gave a quick laugh.
...aaand that's it. Feel free to do with this what you will. I won't mind if you don't give it a second thought, I've already had my fun with the passage. And even if you did use it, be free to edit and cut it in any way which strikes your fancy. Simply put, the passage is yours to use however you want, or by all means leave unused.
As always, I'm looking forward to seeing more of your story, even if my own writing pace is pitifully slow. It is absolutely one of the best Suikoden stories here.
Also, it's nice to see such a huge reference to Suikoden IV, which is one of my favorite games despite the general opinion. Lazlo's behavior was surprising but understandable, given the Rune of Punishment.
I'll touch briefly upon the earlier chapters, too. The tavern scene was quite exciting, although I felt it would have had enough momentum to develop on its own without Jeane's urging. The scene between Jeane and Zerase was interesting, though.
And then, the great bath scene. It really was an enjoyable read, but if there's something that was missing, I couldn't help but be disappointed with the lack of a cumshot scene, especially when the Prince continues by having quite a longish romp with Lyon without much fanfare. And that is why I decided to offer my own, if that is alright with you. It is intended to go between the lines 'Arshtat smiled at her son’s mischievous smirk and she laid back, her body so tired as she continued to pull on his long cock trying to get his hot cum.' and '“Besides…I think Lyon deserves a little attention…”' without any need for rewriting. And it would go as thus:
Faroush's eyes darted back to Arshtat's impressive babyfeeders.
"As for your other offer, dear mother... you don't know how long I've wanted to fuck those gorgeous tits of yours!"
"Ooh," she meowled, positively surprised, and stopped tugging on her son's lengthy manhood to press her breasts together into position. Faroush took a few steps forward to kneel over Arshtat, and Lyon followed her Prince, pressing her naked slippery body against his back and placing kiss after kiss on his skin with passion. Faroush then fed his huge prick into the Queen's slick cleavage and started wildly fucking his mother's slippery mammaries, while she encouraged him and gave his cockhead licks when she could. His massive cock easily extended from her jugs to her mouth, and even though Arshtat's lust had just recently been sated, she got excited by the sight and smell.
"Come on, Faroush! Give it to me! I want your cum!" she said, opened her mouth to its fullest and stuck out her tongue.
It was all too much for Faroush, and he gave in, exploding in his mind and sending a torrent of his jizz over the Queen's face. She had been expecting those huge, heavy balls to carry a big load, but she was still surprised of much goopy spooge her son was bathing her in. A lot was directed at her mouth, and she got a mouth's full of a taste of his spunk, until she couldn't swallow anymore and let the excess leak from her mouth, joining the sticky stuff already on her face and in her hair.
Meanwhile, as the Prince was still going through his orgasm, Lyon had taken to stroking his enormous cock and fondling his balls to coach his seed out to the last drop, which was a long time in coming. Faroush's cock was spurting endlessly, and the Queen's breasts were already covered, while the rest of his cum was running down her body.
When Faroush finally recovered and could look Arshat in the eye, she said to him, "Oh, you naughty boy... You've given back all the milk you suckled from these teats manyfold."
He could only flash a silly grin, but Lyon was already on the job, greedily lapping the Prince's milk from the Queen's skin. Faroush already felt a few jolts in his spent and slimy piece, when Lyon and his mother shared a few sticky wet kisses, and more when his bodyguard Arshat's round, cumcovered tits clean. Then she moved behind Faroush to lick Arshtat's lower body clean.
Arshtat touched Faroush's softening cock lightly and said, "At least let me clean this."
Faroush obliged and let her take his still large piece in her mouth to suck and lick off whatever fluids were left on it, and was surprised when Faroush started hardening again this soon. Finished cleaning him up, she asked him, "Are you sure you don't want to... you know..."
"You haven't recovered enough!" said Faroush and gave a quick laugh.
...aaand that's it. Feel free to do with this what you will. I won't mind if you don't give it a second thought, I've already had my fun with the passage. And even if you did use it, be free to edit and cut it in any way which strikes your fancy. Simply put, the passage is yours to use however you want, or by all means leave unused.
As always, I'm looking forward to seeing more of your story, even if my own writing pace is pitifully slow. It is absolutely one of the best Suikoden stories here.
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October 8, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Ahhhhhh! Thank you so much! That was so hot...and it makes that scene so much better! I'm honored...
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October 8, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Hey love the new chapter it was very funny love the way you have made Viki I can't wait to what type of misadventures the Prince and Viki get themselves into. And you are right about Suikoden 4 needing somthing more
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October 3, 2006 at 12:00 AM
We have to wait a few weeks for an update? Damn I want more now. Anyhoo love every chapter so far can't wait for the new one.
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September 27, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Holy hell, The Jeane part in I think it was chapter 4 was hot as hell. Great job at making her such a sex pot.
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September 26, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Love the way Kyle acts in chapter 4 also like the whole thing with wind rune and Faylen. I enjoy your style of writing, everyhing flows well You have also made some good plot themes such as runes haveing a mind and free will of sorts. Hope you keep the story going for awhile.
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September 24, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Just got done with chapter 2 and the bath scene was good because of the way you show the influence of the sun rune on Arshtat also I like that your not afraid to dip into themes such as Consensual incest I mean lets face the Prince's mom and aunt are hot. I like the interaction between the Prince and Lyon and Miakis. Can't wait to read the orgy in Ch. 3
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September 24, 2006 at 12:00 AM
That was a great orgy in Ch 3 nice details and everything I just wish Lucretia had gotten more involved Would love to have seen her get so carry away that she gotten involve with a man.