rate_review Reviews

Hmm... Not bad, not bad... I rather like this, good work

Tentacle chapter you say? Hmm, that'd be interesting. My idea is for a tentacle chapter involving Xiao Qiao

realy good story, I hope you'll soon add more
(I have no preference for the next girl ^^)

this will be cool to read
update soon

Your story seemed interesting, but the squiggly lines (~~~~) between every paragraph messed up the formatting on my screen and made it hard to read. It is better to use standard line breaks (an empty line between paragraphs) and reserve special line breaks for major transitions. For example,

"On the battlefield blaa blaa blaa

~~~~

Meanwhile, in the palace..."

Also, you should only use a few of the special symbols, not a whole full line. So yeah, this was basically a review of line breaks.