rate_review Reviews

a leon/sora/cloud! why? because threesomes are FUN!

{I was the 1st one...review of chapter 5}
Yay improvement!
I never even thought about any other affects of the collar...
*flicks self in head*
Love how Cloud and Leon are jealous!!!
OT3???
Please continue!!!

THIS IS SUCH A GREAT STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!PLEASE UPDATE IT SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

*plays dramatic music over loud speakers* well things are certainly getting more and more interesting. Aerith and Cloud broke up; Cloud is getting possessive over Sora whom Leon has feelings for; Riku and Kairi finally get to see their friend; and Sora is going through some bad depression. Hmm yeah things are getting reall interesting here. Well I like the story though and I'm glad you updated ^^ I almost hate to know what Riku's reaction is gonna be what he finds out about the whole 'collar' and 'amster' setup going on. But I must read, if I don't I'll go crazy with overwhelming curiosity!! Anyway keep up the good work while I go off to work! *laguhs* Look I made a funny!! :p

Love it so far. Look forward to more.

1. For you to have such long chapters, you're story moves waaay to fast. You need to slow down the pace. Seriously: a main fight lasted one paragragh. That's just sad.

2. You need to add more detail to your story. Your story lacks any emotion whatso ever. I dont' feel sorry for Sora, I dont' feel angry at anyone-, hell, I didn't understand why some characters felt the way they did most of the story. (Like the servant girl. You gave no examples whatso ever before hand of her feeling sorry for Sora and interacting with him enough to even remotely do so.) Most of it almost seems like after thought.

3. Erm, what the hell happened to Riku and Kairi? I can understand the whole "accidentally locking him out" thing (And by the way, Cloud guessing what happened and I mean, right down to Riku thinking Sora went through the door was a bit too odd) but why didn't they come with Mickey and Leon to save Sora. I could definately under Leon coming but Riku and espically Kairi not showing up was just OOC for their characters, moreso since it was Riku's fault. (And you expressed them wanting to help Sora. I can't say feeling guilty.)

This story as a lot of potential but thus far, I'm not seeing a good fanfiction.

I hate Aeris anyway....Make Sephiroth come back, please? Or write however you wish (subliminal message: セフィロス）

Whoa it feels like there is a huge gap in time between your chapters.
It's feels a bit rushed...or maybe you're going to explain more things next chapter...
O.o I'm surprised Xanthus gave up Sora so easily!
and [“He’s too worthy a prize to pass up.”] ouch Bad Cloud! Only considering Sora as a prize! XD
Yay for enraged Leon! (Is he going to end up interrupting them? O.o I hope not!)
I can't wait for another chapter!