rate_review Reviews

*Thumbs up* Magna Carta~... Oi! I'd love to review your fic an' all, but I haven't finished the game yet. Actually, I'm using this to try and contact you. Get some Yahoo, yanno? We need to hook up for some RP! The email's rah'dere, so you better make good use of it!

Or I... guess it isn't. Been so long since then. --Ahem. That'd have to be sono_shiroi_kumo@yahoo.com. And, assuming you get Yahoo to contact on, that'd give you a corename, wouldn't it? So hop to! I've got a game to go beat!

Yay! I like it, although I'm a little confused when it comes to who you're talking about, and who's talking to who. Especially the Calintz/Agreian part you wrote. That was .... very strange. At least it was to me. Maybe it's only me.

The sentences need more construction, and a twinge or two to the grammar here and there wouldn't kill it. Personally, I use my beta-reader for all that stuff, especially when I'm being lazy. -_-;;; But again, that may just be me.

Much love, though! And Orha just so happens to be my favorite character. n-n Yay! Orha!love makes me happy!

It's great to see Magna Carta fanfiction! Keep writing I luff yew! ;O;

With the way the sentences are structured its hard to tell who is talking, who is sitting who is walking across the room. You make it seem like one person is talking to themself sometimes but then it turns out the are talking to someone else and I get confused as to of who is doing what...a little bit of refinement in the paragraphs and listing who is doing what we make this story (which from what I see I might like) an awesome one.

Thanks for the comment! ^^ I take note of it, and yes well I'm not used to fanfics all that much, I'm more of a novel writer so it's a bit different when writing a fanfic. :D But I'll do my best for the third chapter, thanks for reviewing!!

Regards
~Fen

Yaye!! My first reviews! Thank you both, I'm really glad someone finally left comments. This pushing me into writing more. ^-^ I'll do my best to add a third chapter before weekend arrives. Thanks a bunch for reading -and- commenting.



~Fen

Laf yes, yes indeed it is annoying when people write stupid things like this. I'm -very- happy that you liked the story, and the pairing. I'm planning on working on the third chapter very soon, but being at University, my time is rather limited. I'll try doing this tomorrow between two classes. Hooray for Orha and Neikan! :D

~Fen

What you've written was good! n.n I wish there was more, but I know how annoying it is when people keep going "ZOMG UPDATE OR I KEEL U!!!1ONE"

I personally don't understand why Calintz would go running off with serina, either... Asshole. I grew to hate the both of them by the end of the game. D:

But anyway! That was good! ^^ I love Orha and Neikan. I was surprised that you (kinda) wrote about this pair. My friend suggested them once, and I was all "Naaah," but now I think I rather like it. xD;

And I'm surprised that you were a Magna Carta RPer. My friends and I just began RPing it. I thought no one else on AOL ever even heard of the game, seeing as the last guy I talked to about it said "Magna Carta? That history thing?" ('tf...)

Take care!


Kura.

wow i've been waiting for a magna carta fanfiction to come out. Great job.