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August 2, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Anti-male themes aside, this is pretty good.
And you killed Steve! Thumbs up!
And you killed Steve! Thumbs up!
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July 30, 2006 at 12:00 AM
This is by far one of the most original pieces of fanfiction that I have ever read. And I must say that I find it strangely enjoyable. Please make sure to finish this one because it really is a pretty cool idea. Oh and I like the fact that Rebbecca was the original, she was always my favorite character.
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July 30, 2006 at 12:00 AM
It's about time you update it, please continued the story.
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July 29, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I don't know about this fic requiring an "open mind," but I did notice the RE girls partaking in a laughable amount of uncharacteristic male-bashing. It seems as though the entire story, in all its wonky pacing and weird flow, always comes back to either Jill, Claire, or Rebecca and their unexplained, irrational distaste toward men.
This is your story, and you can do whatever you want with it, but if you're going to include a fic where there are character deaths, crossover elements, and some AU plot elements, please indicate as such.
Also, with regards to the light humor you tried to throw in when Claire told Steve that no one liked his RE character, I felt like I was watching Date Movie. A familiar feeling of "...trying to be funny but not succeeding..." came over me.
In sum, I think some planning would do wonders for this story. You're jumping around a lot, and someone else mentioned that it seems like you're writing simply to finish. Take your time setting things up, and don't jump around the Resident Evil games too much. Resident Evil 4 takes place six years after REC:V. How on earth would Rebecca know about Leon's upcoming mission and the inclusion of Las Plagas, Salazar, and Saddler? It doesn't fit, in my opinion.
Also, make sure you get the character names right. It's Annette Birkin, not Annette Williams. I apologizing for being a bit harsh, but not all feedback you receive is going to be cheery and positive. Hopefully some of what I said will be of some help.
-jm
This is your story, and you can do whatever you want with it, but if you're going to include a fic where there are character deaths, crossover elements, and some AU plot elements, please indicate as such.
Also, with regards to the light humor you tried to throw in when Claire told Steve that no one liked his RE character, I felt like I was watching Date Movie. A familiar feeling of "...trying to be funny but not succeeding..." came over me.
In sum, I think some planning would do wonders for this story. You're jumping around a lot, and someone else mentioned that it seems like you're writing simply to finish. Take your time setting things up, and don't jump around the Resident Evil games too much. Resident Evil 4 takes place six years after REC:V. How on earth would Rebecca know about Leon's upcoming mission and the inclusion of Las Plagas, Salazar, and Saddler? It doesn't fit, in my opinion.
Also, make sure you get the character names right. It's Annette Birkin, not Annette Williams. I apologizing for being a bit harsh, but not all feedback you receive is going to be cheery and positive. Hopefully some of what I said will be of some help.
-jm
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February 11, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Wow i love this keep at it, if ya have time e-mail me when your next chapter is done ^^
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January 6, 2006 at 12:00 AM
You need to work on your flow. The ideas just sort of come one after another with no real punctuation or breaks between them, like you're in a hurry to finish.
For that matter, the Silent Hill crossover and the weird Chapter 3 bit with Rebecca just seem sort of thrown in there for no reason, and pretty lame besides. If you're going to write Claire/Rebecca, then fuck, write Claire/Rebecca.
For that matter, the Silent Hill crossover and the weird Chapter 3 bit with Rebecca just seem sort of thrown in there for no reason, and pretty lame besides. If you're going to write Claire/Rebecca, then fuck, write Claire/Rebecca.