rate_review Reviews

Hey why aren't you updating? Did you forget about us or something? :( Makes me sad... Anyway, the stroy was really getting moving and you disappeared! Please don't abandon this story. Pleaeeeeeeease! I can't wait to see where you are taking it! Please update.

I also have something to add after seeing those nice little (carcasm) reviews that you received. I know that something like that can be discouraging, but please remember that this is YOUR story and you can do with it whatever the hell you want. If someone else doesn't like it than that sucks for them. I love how you are writing this story, and I use the words "Sire" and "Child" in my own castlevania fanfiction, thought I drop the "e" at the end of the word. And your other wording fits this fic better as its part of older english and doesn't stand out like some of our modern english words are. So please don't stop writing. I'm looking eagerly forward to chapter 5!

Yes, I know I just wrote a revier about two minutes ago, but I feel the need to add another. After I submitted the review it brought me to the review page and I read your other reviews. I saw the one by that Willow person so now I feel I need to add this.
First of all, this is your story and you can choose to add whatever type of words you wish. There is no template for how a story should be written and you have a right and, indeed, a duty as an author to write the story with the words and sentence structures that you feel will work best. Use bugger or whatever. It doesn't matter as long as you feel that word is right.
Secondly, the word Childe is used in many different vampire based books, not just Anne Rice novels. I myself own several different vampire series that all use the word Childe. Using the word is not ripping it off Rice's works at all. She is one of the biggest writers in vampire novels and influenced the genre greatly. That's what happens when someone is influential, their ideas and notions appear in all sorts of other things. Besides that, the way that you portray vampires and their interactions with each other is so very different from Anne Rice's that I don't see how anyone could accuse you from taking your ideas from her.
Lastly, it has been 700 years. I would hope that the characters have grown and developed from when we saw them last in the game. Mathias spiriled so quickly towards darkness after Elisabetha's death. The way he is in "Death Interrupted" makes a lot of sense to me. Joachim has obviously had a lot of changes in this time and I'm looking forward to seeing why he's had such a change of heart. I also see that Leon being so weak is part of the storyline and will be explained later.
In conclusion, you are a good writer and have interesting and original ideas. I look forward to reading more.

Yes, yes. This is a great story and I was sad to get to chapter 4 and find out there weren't any more chapters to read...Update? Please? I'll give you a hug!
Okay, comment time now. You have a great style of writing that keeps me interested. I also like the way you include details about the nature of vampirism without making it seem like a lecture to just get in the facts that need to be there. For your first story, it's a great one. Keep writing and I'll keep reviewing.

T.T I think I'm in love... this fic is sooo good!!! I loved the game LoI and have been after several fics... but this one is soo good I cant help myself, but to beg for an update. PLEEEEAAASSEEEE!!! With lots of sugar and cherries on top! (or would you like blood better?)

Seriously, do you have any idea of characterization? At all? BECAUSE IT SURE SEEMS LIKE YOU DON'T.

Oooooh wicked! I liked that one veeeery much! I liked how Leon struck back at Mathias! It was so cool. And seeing dear Dick eat hsi words was even better! Ha! Take that you bastard! Great chapter; can't wait until the next one! Good work!

o_o;. Wow, this certainly wasn't what I was expecting when I read the synopsis. But wow I'm impressed! I was expecting a Marius and Leon fic, but you made Marius into quite a bastard, I'm glad Leon got away from him. And wow, your Joachim is great! Totally likeable, I can see him being so, he's had some time to grow out of his bitterness and insanity he had going on back at the Castle. I'm actually happier to see plot in this fic than smut (I'd embarassingly admit that its not usually that way), and enjoy every minute of it. Nice work, I'm gonna keep an eye on this^^;.

Okay, For a first effort, it's decent. Nothing to write home about, but not worth sporking, either. But there are three problems with your fic, one minor, one annoying, and one major.

Firstly: Words like "buggered", "reamed" and other such words do not belong in porn. Ever. It does not make it sound more 'gritty', it makes people fall over laughing. And you managed to use nearly all of them in your first few paragraphs. Not a good sign.

Secondly: Castlevania does not take place in the Anne Rice universe. Trying to graft on the "master" and "childe" relationships just makes it sound goofy. Especially for people that don't read Anne Rice and are just confused as to why you apparently can't spell 'child' to save your life. (Like me. Someone else had to tell me you were ripping off Rice.) Now, this is somewhat forgivable given that the Castlevania games don't give much to go on in the way of vampiric relationships, but it still sounds very out of place. At least change the titles and if you can't do that, for the love of god take the extra 'e' off of 'childe'. It looks stupid as heck.

Thirdly and lastly: Do you have any idea of characterization at all? Any idea? Because it sure looks like you don't. Probably the most egarious in this case is Joachim. In the game he was an arrogant bastard who was only out for himself and getting vengeance on Walter. Now he's fluffy happy "help Leon yay"? What. The real Joachim probably just would've hid out and tried to get the Crimson Stone off of Mathias for himself and to hell with Leon. Which brings us to Leon. He's not that weak. Remember, this guy set off to the vampire's castle with no weapons, no nothing to rescue Sara. He's a strong and determined character, and you've turned him into the most stereotypical weepy uke EVER. Riiiiiiiiiiiight. Mathias...you might be able to make a case for him, but he still comes off as being too "posturing evil" to work right. You took a decently two-dimensional character and stripped him of even that. Good job. And wasn't there supposed to be a Lisa in there somewhere? 400 years after LoI? Yeah.

I'm fully aware of the fact that given you're already writing this you're probably not going to make the major changes in characterization that need to be made, and you probably wouldn't listen to me even if you could. That said, keep them in mind for the future. Don't just write original characters with the names of canon characters shoved on, work on making them act as much like the canon characters as possible. This is the big thing with writing fanfiction, and if you don't like it all you'd have to do is do a word search and replace on this and have an original work. (Note: For fanfiction, this is really bad.) It would be an original work that apparently got all of its ideas about vampires from Anne Rice, but it would be original.Next time, try and make it so you CAN'T do that. Okay?

Weeee! Another chapter! Wonderful! Yes, it was mild compared to the first chapter, but hey it was still great! You tortured me with that long wait, you know. This chapter more than makes up for it though. I chuckled with I saw a mental picture of that human's face when he realized that Leon was already a vampire! It was hysterical. Ohhhh what is Joachim going to say! heh heh. I lookd forward to that scene! Keep writing! Now you've really got me in suspence! Oh and hey, when is Leon going to meet his descendants? Your disclaimer suggests that this fic takes palce around Synphony, so I can't wait to see what happens if Leon and Richter meet.