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July 8, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Loved it! Please!!! Please continue! It's a shame that you've gone six years and still havn't continued...
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April 6, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Good story, waiting for part two, is that ever gonna be written?
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September 29, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Just awesome. Can't wait for the second chapter! ^_^
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September 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hmm. Nice little story and God knows Illusen and Jhudora deserve some lovin' (especially from each other). A few points, though:
- Sometimes, Illusen mysteriously transforms into someone named Illusion for no good reason. You should probably fix that.
- The phrase 'I guess this goes to show just how strong these famed faeries are, huh?' totally breaks the narrative flow, but perhaps that's just nitpicking.
- Jhudora spontaneously realising that she's in love with Illusen and Illusen kind of instantly responding to that was a bit... unrealistic. Then again, I'm a sucker for slowly built-up romance, so it's probably personal.
- Finally, Jhudora has a cock. Personally, I don't have a problem with that - I *like* girls with cocks, but some readers might be unpleasantly surprised, so you should probably put up a warning.
In spite of these little things, I still really liked it and I'm looking forward to more.
- Sometimes, Illusen mysteriously transforms into someone named Illusion for no good reason. You should probably fix that.
- The phrase 'I guess this goes to show just how strong these famed faeries are, huh?' totally breaks the narrative flow, but perhaps that's just nitpicking.
- Jhudora spontaneously realising that she's in love with Illusen and Illusen kind of instantly responding to that was a bit... unrealistic. Then again, I'm a sucker for slowly built-up romance, so it's probably personal.
- Finally, Jhudora has a cock. Personally, I don't have a problem with that - I *like* girls with cocks, but some readers might be unpleasantly surprised, so you should probably put up a warning.
In spite of these little things, I still really liked it and I'm looking forward to more.