rate_review Reviews

unholy ducks! that was good ,write more ,pleaaaaaaase!!! i'll give u a cookie if you do. ...... You know you want the cookie

uhhh

more more more!

it was ok

Continue please, it was awesome storie :D

great, Do you play on the european servers, Avishaka?

This is great! Add more. But be mpre specific....you know more detailed...and if possible add some odder things..naga Tauren undead and maybe some males and impregnation..just a thought

Not a bad start to a story. I think you have a soild basis, but you have a few wrinkles to iron out. First, you need to separate your paragraphs. Second, make it clear when changing the point of veiw between characters.

Has some really good potential, but needs a lot of work. Paragraphs need to be set off better (one blank line), line breaks need to be used better (entire width instead of half of it), grammar needs to be checked (number agreement, subject-verb agreement, comma splices, improper contraction use, just to name a few. "A troll women" is a purely silly mistake and just distracts from the writing), and the descriptions need to be more detailed (if you're not going to bother with even so much as a direction a knife falls, take it out completely and just say "x wanders randomly").

You've GOT it as far as writing goes, but you need to remember that your readers aren't privy to your thought patterns, and need to be catered to as far as layout.

Pretty nice, keep it up =)