rate_review Reviews

You know, this story started off so well but kind of went downhill once you had Marle go through hallucinations of being with Lucca and Ayla. While Lucca and Ayla are certainly very sexy in their own rights, I came reading this story in the expectations of Queen Zeal having her way with Marle but was dismayed when there was more mention of Lucca and Ayla then Queen Zeal. Maybe it is because I'm a big Queen Zeal nut (can I be her slave?) but if I wanted to read a lesbian story on Lucca/Marle or Ayla/Marle then I would have read something else.

If you do plan to re write this in the future, I don't mind you still keeping Lucca/Marle and/or Marle/Ayla but please keep it to just one chapter...for both characters and stick to Zeal doing whatever the heck she wants to Marle.

Anyway, to the actual chapter I really liked it. Marle's futile determination to not be broken mentally was brave but as I said, futile. I liked how you made Queen Zeal almost lose control of the situation right there. I almost thought that you would have had Zeal just blast Marle with her scepter in frustration before leaving but I'm glad Zeal took control in the end. Have you ever thought of incorporating Zeal's Hallation move during these sessions, the one that leaves your party down to 1 HP, just to weaken Marle to the point of utter helplessness?

In any case, wicked story, I'm glad you are still trucking with it and I'll be sure to keep tabs on it in the future.

Glad to see some more from you with this fic. It's pretty neat to see some Queen Zeal love coming out lately from you and wingsofseyfert. The long time since your last chapter is no big deal, of course I say that then I feel bad for not getting stuff written sooner. :) Good job with the interaction between Queen Zeal and Marle, and it's wonderful to see that come back after the long run of action between Marle and other characters.

I rather enjoyed this story. It's too bad it's not complete, but what's there is very fascinating. Great concept for a fanfic, and a fairly good characterization of Zeal. I called it being a dream, but no complaining here.

Wow, I am so looking forward to seeing what happens next. I was absolutely thrilled to see Zeal was back in business, ready to make the most of Marle's recent training. Maybe having her doing maid duties just to dress her up, and get behind her when she least expects it? Oh I am sure there's plenty of ideas left.

I don't know why I forgot to say this, but your story was part of the inspiration behind mine. I just thought I'd leave a message since I know if someone was inspired by something I wrote, I'd like to know.

Hurry up with the next chapter... damn. I will be dead before the rest of this is released...

Wonderful update - I am actually glad to see Zeal back in action. Thank you for continueing with this story!

xxxcellent, more queen zeal soon, and now with marl knowing how to serve a mistress and please her body and feet and everything, this is gonna great

its a great fic, please continue!

This stuff is kickass! I can't wait for Zeal to get back in the fic, she's as sexy as they come! Pun intended :D