rate_review Reviews

for about 2 years now ive been coming back to this story, rereading it every now and then. so, finally, ive printed this story out for keepers. this is the first time ive ever done that for an online story and a slash one at that. so thanks maiafay. its a great story.

I just read your fic from beginning to end, for the third time, and I want to assure you that you have not written a Canon Sue. No one has accused you of that, because you haven't done it. I really hope your worry about charactarization isn't what is slowing you down from revising the sequel.

Yes, you made Leon incredibly desireable and beautiful, but throwing out those useless Sue tests, it's not perfection that makes us hate Sues. It's the fact that they are shallow, boring, and trite, and demand huge amounts of reader and character attention, while not giving a compelling reason to care about them. Trust me, we readers are VERY emotionally invested in Leon. He pays our attention back in lush, sensual detail and emotionally realistic drama. We know that Leon is highly fuckable, not because you tell us he is, but because you make us feel the the obsession and desire Saddler and the others feel for him. That's a pretty high reader pay off.

So don't go labling him a Sue, even though you changed his characterization (with a damn good reason) and gave him a new special ability (power to seduce even if he doesn't want to). Leon faces realistic consequences for these powers: He doesn't just have the pretty girls wanting to jump his bones, even shambling undead things, creepy old guys and tentacle monsters are chasing after his ass. By the way, kudos on making slimy blood-tentacle rape sensually hot. That's a pretty tough feat.

I've just come into the Resident Evil 4 fandom, and I have to say that you have spoiled me beyond all hope with your story. Dark, sensual, and I love the ideas of the different types of Plaga castes, especially making Leon a luv slave. Heh heh. Besides that, you have a wonderful talent for description and setting, which all in all makes me a very happy reader. I can't wait for the rest of your works to come in, especially with Leon in it. :)

D: You made a red hot fiction THAT I CANT FAP TO D; D: D: If the one whose getting fucked doesnt like it then I cant like it D: But this wont stop me from reading to find out if he ever just fucking takes it..

Your writing style is gorgeous. You give enough detail (without having too much!) and flesh out your characters fairly well considering the ah, subject matter. While there could still be more depth to your character development, one must pause to consider if such development would just get in the way? The final scene with the Sovereign and Leon was very good, the interaction between them was very interesting, and the Leon vs. Self conflict was very well portrayed. However, the movement of the characters was often confusing. I'm not asking for a picture, but a semi-thorough redescription of everyone's orientation every few paragraphs or so would be greatly appreciated.

Well, it's well written. I'll give you that. Frankly, I think the characterizations are inaccurate to say the least. But then again, this is fanfiction. It's all about the sex anyway.

It is a brilliant story. I think the characterization was pretty much spot on. We only get a few cut scenes to see how everyone acts anyway.

As for Leon being a canon sue...that never really crossed my mind. If he turned into a creature that IS sensual and alluring as a characteristic, then everybody should want him. Anyway, it's not as if he wants most of them back, (which I think is a shame in Saddler's case- but that's just me :D) that would make the story a kinda pointless fuck-fest.

I'm a bit disappointed you cut out most of the Thomas bit...that made me laugh.

Anyway, good job! ^^

wow. you revised the whole thing...even though it was already perfect! your so dedicated.
thanks maia for the story.
truly loved it.

Oh my god you did it! This is way better the second time here than in FF.net (no offence) you are such a good writer! Yay! :D

That BITCH! I can truly say I hate Ada and her cold and violent behavior towards Ashley and Leon. The best thing is that at least Leon now knows just how low Ada is willing to go to achieve her whims. Excellent revision, Maiafay. TBH, I did see a couple of typos but nothing that detracted from the story or the flow of the story. Looking forward to the next revision.