schedule
May 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Eh, I don't want to join the masses here and be all freaking out about the flames but...you guys DIDN'T have to keep reading it if you thought it was getting boring. And I think this whole flaming of someone else's story is really stupid -_-; Critisism is alright, but don't bash someone for writing something you don't like, get over it already. Another thing, if people are that anal about a few wrong spanish phrases so much to the extent they are rude about it and ignore the rest of the story there is something seriously wrong >>;
I personally have not played Resident Evil but I was just searching for some slash to keep my muse occupied and thought, why not. Being really into words and grammar I liked all the lovely descriptive words that were used ^_^ I, myself, use a thesaurus and so does my sister who is writing her own novel right now (she's also 45); there is no harm in that, it shows that you are a talented enough writer to know not to repeat words because that gets boring. I'm also not saying I'm a wonderful writer, 'cause I'm not, but I have enough sense to not use the same word twice in one paragraph.
Tehe, I'm also into tentacles, so...that was a huge plus right there and the hard domination of the submissive partner; that makes me grin.
So, in short...you really need to get the next part up...'cause I'm dying ^^;; I need to know what happens OO;
:: KISSU! ::
I personally have not played Resident Evil but I was just searching for some slash to keep my muse occupied and thought, why not. Being really into words and grammar I liked all the lovely descriptive words that were used ^_^ I, myself, use a thesaurus and so does my sister who is writing her own novel right now (she's also 45); there is no harm in that, it shows that you are a talented enough writer to know not to repeat words because that gets boring. I'm also not saying I'm a wonderful writer, 'cause I'm not, but I have enough sense to not use the same word twice in one paragraph.
Tehe, I'm also into tentacles, so...that was a huge plus right there and the hard domination of the submissive partner; that makes me grin.
So, in short...you really need to get the next part up...'cause I'm dying ^^;; I need to know what happens OO;
:: KISSU! ::
schedule
May 4, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I've been one of the many silent readers that have followed this story from the very beginning. Like many RE4 fans out there, I've been a nerd and fantasized what Leon would be like if the plagas hadn't been removed. I love this story for several reasons- the plot is plausible, disturbingly plausible, it's extremely well written, and it keeps with the general feeling of Resident Evil, gritty survival horror. After reading your latest chapter and the notes that followed, I felt like I should give some positive feedback that's been a long time in coming- mostly because I'm a lazy arsehole. As a shameless fanfiction writer, I've also gotten ridiculous flames and tons of reviewer trolls, so now I generally don't read reviews and just write for personal pleasure. I hope the latest string of frustrating and unfortunate events don't keep you from writing more. There's quite a few silent readers like me that enjoy your writing and this story!
schedule
May 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
What happens next?????????
Update soon, it's good so far (Smile)
Oooh! Resident Evil was one of my fav movies
Update soon, it's good so far (Smile)
Oooh! Resident Evil was one of my fav movies
schedule
May 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
i think your story rocks,... i can't wait ta see what happens... to much suspense too wait for but i will... keep up the good work... i just wish i could write half as good as you... peace out with love... update soon i hope ....
schedule
May 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Yay! You updated. I really liked the writing in this chapter. I think you did a great job of characterizing Saddler in particular. You captured his extreme arrogance and almost distain for everyone one else very well, and Leon's response as well to the whole situation I thought was very realistic. Also, this particular part of the story flowed very well, and the visual images you painted were excellent without being overdone. ^_^ Keep up the great work!!
schedule
May 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
;__; I just read the bottom of 10 since you editted it for all the drama, I just wanted to respond to this:
FYI: I AM going over this fic little by little, “dumbing” it down some. So that I do not confuse anyone further. Yes, I actually did take that advice, but your delivery of such helpful suggestions-- er, demands was poor, and rude.
>>I just wanted to reiterate that I really loved the language you used in your fic. I hope you don't take away everything if you do decide to "dumb it down". I'm not sure if all your readers felt that way. However, I enjoy reading new words or words I may not be familiar with. I hope the drama is over though, you really didn't deserve any of those. Though you and other fellow reviewers did a good job of defending yourself. Anyhoo, just wanted to mention that, I hope the new chapter is up soon! Keep up the great work.
FYI: I AM going over this fic little by little, “dumbing” it down some. So that I do not confuse anyone further. Yes, I actually did take that advice, but your delivery of such helpful suggestions-- er, demands was poor, and rude.
>>I just wanted to reiterate that I really loved the language you used in your fic. I hope you don't take away everything if you do decide to "dumb it down". I'm not sure if all your readers felt that way. However, I enjoy reading new words or words I may not be familiar with. I hope the drama is over though, you really didn't deserve any of those. Though you and other fellow reviewers did a good job of defending yourself. Anyhoo, just wanted to mention that, I hope the new chapter is up soon! Keep up the great work.
schedule
May 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Dear Carrie,
I'd like to thank you for reviewing for my fanfiction. It brings me great joy to see someone as interested in my stoies as i am, although it is even greater of an honor to have a talented author and peer, such as yourself, review for my story. I cannot express to you how delighted I was when I came upon it. I was of course, happy to get even the tiniest feedback- but your review gave me a special glow unlike any of the others.
I decided I would check out your story, as you had mentioned you ad a little bit of Leon/Ashley in your story as well. I did not know what the term slash was, at the time, but I check the story codes and found out. To be honest, I like the fluttery, happy type stories (maybe not so happy) but things of an unnatural nature, such as Slash and Beastiality, hold no real interest for me. However, when I checked your profile and read your summary, I decided that the story might have some traces of plot (as hardly any fanfictions do).
Needless to say, after the first two chapters I was hooked. I loved the characters of Leon and Ashley (although she doesn't deserve it XD) and the evil saddler has gotten my approval as well. It has taken a little while for me to get used to the "slash" in the story, but I suppose it is alright, because it has not bothered me yet. Becauseo f this, I admire your ability to keep writing, because I know there are many people who have reviewed you, insulting your story and your ability to write. How childish. This is a very good work of fiction! Whomever decides it is in their right to judge this story cruelly, should do it in a more civil manner, like emial, or otherwise. It makes me very unhappy to see you get judged this way; simply because you have a warning at the top of every page, you even tell what evets happen in the chapter (yet still you get cruel reviews like Veil and Sex seven Story ((not certain if that name is correct)).
Iw ould have to say chapter 6 is my favorite so far. Although I loved the scene between Ashley and Leon, where he drains her energy ^_~ Qiute hot if I do say so myself. I can only imagine these cases, but your descriptions are amazing and wonderfully portrayed. For a dark fic, you have certaintly done your job well, congratulations.
It is a custom of mine to review for every chapter of a story when I begin it; but in this case, I hope you will pardon me; as I am very, very tired and wanted only to read the chapter after the one I was reading. I am eager to read chapter 11, simply beacuse chapter 10 was so amazing. The tentacle stuff was a little disconcerting, but entertaining none the less. To be honest, I looked into your story when I first found AFF.net. I was looking for something about Leon and Ashley and I found your story first. I read the first two chapters, enjoyed it so much, that I was determined to have my own account. I am very glad now to be a part of our AFF.net community and again would like to thank you for welcoming me so sweetly.
I hope we can both stay each other's fans. Goodnight, and I hope you derived even a small amount of joy in the review, you certainly deserve.
-Lady Luky
I'd like to thank you for reviewing for my fanfiction. It brings me great joy to see someone as interested in my stoies as i am, although it is even greater of an honor to have a talented author and peer, such as yourself, review for my story. I cannot express to you how delighted I was when I came upon it. I was of course, happy to get even the tiniest feedback- but your review gave me a special glow unlike any of the others.
I decided I would check out your story, as you had mentioned you ad a little bit of Leon/Ashley in your story as well. I did not know what the term slash was, at the time, but I check the story codes and found out. To be honest, I like the fluttery, happy type stories (maybe not so happy) but things of an unnatural nature, such as Slash and Beastiality, hold no real interest for me. However, when I checked your profile and read your summary, I decided that the story might have some traces of plot (as hardly any fanfictions do).
Needless to say, after the first two chapters I was hooked. I loved the characters of Leon and Ashley (although she doesn't deserve it XD) and the evil saddler has gotten my approval as well. It has taken a little while for me to get used to the "slash" in the story, but I suppose it is alright, because it has not bothered me yet. Becauseo f this, I admire your ability to keep writing, because I know there are many people who have reviewed you, insulting your story and your ability to write. How childish. This is a very good work of fiction! Whomever decides it is in their right to judge this story cruelly, should do it in a more civil manner, like emial, or otherwise. It makes me very unhappy to see you get judged this way; simply because you have a warning at the top of every page, you even tell what evets happen in the chapter (yet still you get cruel reviews like Veil and Sex seven Story ((not certain if that name is correct)).
Iw ould have to say chapter 6 is my favorite so far. Although I loved the scene between Ashley and Leon, where he drains her energy ^_~ Qiute hot if I do say so myself. I can only imagine these cases, but your descriptions are amazing and wonderfully portrayed. For a dark fic, you have certaintly done your job well, congratulations.
It is a custom of mine to review for every chapter of a story when I begin it; but in this case, I hope you will pardon me; as I am very, very tired and wanted only to read the chapter after the one I was reading. I am eager to read chapter 11, simply beacuse chapter 10 was so amazing. The tentacle stuff was a little disconcerting, but entertaining none the less. To be honest, I looked into your story when I first found AFF.net. I was looking for something about Leon and Ashley and I found your story first. I read the first two chapters, enjoyed it so much, that I was determined to have my own account. I am very glad now to be a part of our AFF.net community and again would like to thank you for welcoming me so sweetly.
I hope we can both stay each other's fans. Goodnight, and I hope you derived even a small amount of joy in the review, you certainly deserve.
-Lady Luky
schedule
May 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I love your story and just wanted to tell you that I read some other ppls reveiws and think that they are just talking crap. Your story is perfectly fine. I can understand it completly and it makes sense. You have no need to fix anything except maybe a few grammical errors, or anything your not happy with other wise I would just say ignore them and to keep up the good work.
schedule
May 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Great work on this chapter. Saddler is more annoying than ever and Leon’s mind is still on the fritz. I can see Saddler babbling so arrogantly during sex. You did a wonderful job with Leon’s thoughts, confusion, and feelings about the whole matter. I like how he is still trying to hold on to his last bit of humanity and he remains stubborn, but at the same time you can see him breaking slowly. Poor Leon, I feel so bad for him. I am curious to see how Saddler finally forces him to cave to his will, if he ever does. I hope to see an update soon.
Veil, this story is not about Ashley and Ada, it’s about Leon. So why should she have to make a point to have a section dedicated to the two. She shouldn’t, because it has nothing to do with them really.
“And you spelled Ozwell Spencer’s name wrong, but I can forgive that.”
Oh thank god! You forgave her! How wonderful and kind of you to do so. It was such a horrendous mistake after all. I hope one day I will come to be as sweet and wonderful as you.
Here, let me give it a try. Your review, I notice a few minor errors. There were a couple of times you had trouble forming proper sentence structure. Bear with me, because I’m not that smart so if I make errors after be an ass about this, just pretend they never happened.
------------
Improper Sentences:
“A mildly interesting plot at that. Something pretty rare in the fruit basket of AFF.net.”
“A shame, a real shame”
-----------
“in-character”—This should have been “in character”. There is no dash in that word.
“The description and word-usage would be flowing if it wasn't ringing bells” –In this sentence, the word “wasn’t” should actually be “weren’t”.
Now, let me see if I can forgive you. NO! Ha! I won’t do it. Why, because I’m too immature and mean to do so. You should be ashamed. Disappointing me like that. I had expected you to have such flawless skills. Why else would you have the nerve to jump in and insult someone so rudely?
What you did was far from constructive criticism. Constructive criticism is meant to be helpful and there shouldn’t have been such a spiteful hint to your review. It was a lot like I’m doing right now, being discourteous and wounding.
I seriously believe that both Six Six Seven and Diamond are your friends, or you posting as different people. You all complain about the same thing, defend each other profusely and have the same tone as each other. If I’m wrong about this, whoops!
Just in case, I’ll address them separately. I don’t want them to feel left out.
“though I can't remember the last time Leon wasn't dying to fuck some hole somewhere in this story”
Six Six Seven, If that’s what you really think, you’re wrong. I don’t remember Leon wanting to “fuck some hole” constantly. I do remember him dieing to feed off of them. He never said he wanted to have sex with them, only to feed and fulfill his hunger from the energy that radiated off of them. The only time he had sex was with the Ganado and that hadn’t been his actual intention.
“I can only remember sex scenes and no story, character development, or even a coherent timeframe.”
Really, then you had not been reading it. There has only been one real sex scene, the others were of him feeding and he did grope around, but no sex. The time frame apparently takes place directly after the attempted removal of plaga. What else do you need to know? That is the timeline! The character development is perfectly fine. Pay attention to Leon’s thoughts and actions, you’ll see what I mean.
The pace of the Leon/Saddler scene works with the characters (Saddler in particular) and part of the purpose of the act. Saddler is very arrogant and loves to torment people. He doesn’t just want to screw Leon and be done with it; he wants Leon to bend to his will. He wanted Leon to comply unwillingly to him and to degrade Leon relentlessly. It wouldn’t make sense any other way.
Diamond, well you’re just full of it. I think you and Veil are the same person. You defend her so much and insult her reviewers. Why did you insult them? I know, because they had gone against Veil which means they went against you! Poor little Diamond or Veil, did the mean Maiafay and reviewers hurt your feelings.
It’s funny, where are these stories she reviewed. Oh and from what I read in the footnote of chapter 9, you’re supposedly a wonderful writer. I would love to read them. Come on, give us a link or send them to me.
My e-mail is, Sammyblain@yahoo.com. I would love to hear from you guys. We can talk and play Internet checkers together. I’m sure will have a good time. We could be the best of friends. At least write something somewhere for me. I’d love to see if I sparked something in someone with this. Come on, let’s play.
Veil, this story is not about Ashley and Ada, it’s about Leon. So why should she have to make a point to have a section dedicated to the two. She shouldn’t, because it has nothing to do with them really.
“And you spelled Ozwell Spencer’s name wrong, but I can forgive that.”
Oh thank god! You forgave her! How wonderful and kind of you to do so. It was such a horrendous mistake after all. I hope one day I will come to be as sweet and wonderful as you.
Here, let me give it a try. Your review, I notice a few minor errors. There were a couple of times you had trouble forming proper sentence structure. Bear with me, because I’m not that smart so if I make errors after be an ass about this, just pretend they never happened.
------------
Improper Sentences:
“A mildly interesting plot at that. Something pretty rare in the fruit basket of AFF.net.”
“A shame, a real shame”
-----------
“in-character”—This should have been “in character”. There is no dash in that word.
“The description and word-usage would be flowing if it wasn't ringing bells” –In this sentence, the word “wasn’t” should actually be “weren’t”.
Now, let me see if I can forgive you. NO! Ha! I won’t do it. Why, because I’m too immature and mean to do so. You should be ashamed. Disappointing me like that. I had expected you to have such flawless skills. Why else would you have the nerve to jump in and insult someone so rudely?
What you did was far from constructive criticism. Constructive criticism is meant to be helpful and there shouldn’t have been such a spiteful hint to your review. It was a lot like I’m doing right now, being discourteous and wounding.
I seriously believe that both Six Six Seven and Diamond are your friends, or you posting as different people. You all complain about the same thing, defend each other profusely and have the same tone as each other. If I’m wrong about this, whoops!
Just in case, I’ll address them separately. I don’t want them to feel left out.
“though I can't remember the last time Leon wasn't dying to fuck some hole somewhere in this story”
Six Six Seven, If that’s what you really think, you’re wrong. I don’t remember Leon wanting to “fuck some hole” constantly. I do remember him dieing to feed off of them. He never said he wanted to have sex with them, only to feed and fulfill his hunger from the energy that radiated off of them. The only time he had sex was with the Ganado and that hadn’t been his actual intention.
“I can only remember sex scenes and no story, character development, or even a coherent timeframe.”
Really, then you had not been reading it. There has only been one real sex scene, the others were of him feeding and he did grope around, but no sex. The time frame apparently takes place directly after the attempted removal of plaga. What else do you need to know? That is the timeline! The character development is perfectly fine. Pay attention to Leon’s thoughts and actions, you’ll see what I mean.
The pace of the Leon/Saddler scene works with the characters (Saddler in particular) and part of the purpose of the act. Saddler is very arrogant and loves to torment people. He doesn’t just want to screw Leon and be done with it; he wants Leon to bend to his will. He wanted Leon to comply unwillingly to him and to degrade Leon relentlessly. It wouldn’t make sense any other way.
Diamond, well you’re just full of it. I think you and Veil are the same person. You defend her so much and insult her reviewers. Why did you insult them? I know, because they had gone against Veil which means they went against you! Poor little Diamond or Veil, did the mean Maiafay and reviewers hurt your feelings.
It’s funny, where are these stories she reviewed. Oh and from what I read in the footnote of chapter 9, you’re supposedly a wonderful writer. I would love to read them. Come on, give us a link or send them to me.
My e-mail is, Sammyblain@yahoo.com. I would love to hear from you guys. We can talk and play Internet checkers together. I’m sure will have a good time. We could be the best of friends. At least write something somewhere for me. I’d love to see if I sparked something in someone with this. Come on, let’s play.
schedule
May 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I love your story... very, oh so very much. I cannot wait for the next chapter and I hope that you will get it up soon. And screw the stupid people who are against slash and comment poorly on your story. You have made it very clear that there is slash contained and if they are going to read it still then they should just keep their mouths shut! Anyway love it very much so get the next part up soon so I can read and be happy.