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June 13, 2008 at 12:00 AM
randomhyperperson: THIS STORY WAS AWESOME! for what ever reason i like rape stories..
darkjak: *thinking* this crazy-ass bitch.........
RHP: i wish that unstead of daxter shooting dark jak, dark jak would have took him again!
DJ: *thinking* wow, this crazy-ass disgusting bitch............
RHP: and the first time, i wish it could have been a little more descriptive!
DJ: OKAY, THAT'S IT YOU CRAZY-ASS DISGUSTING SICK TWISTED BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!
RHP: I TOLD YOU BEFORE NEVER, EVER!!!, CALL ME A BITCH AGAIN!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH! *tackles dark*
DJ: *starts slashing RHP with claws*
RHP: *grabs gun and starts shooting DJ*
Daxter: *walks in* HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~by now, both dark and rhp are injured and tired~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
RHP: okay, okay truths?! *holds out hand*
DJ: *shakes hand* truths!
Daxter: *looking around at blood on walls* Dammit! its gonna take forever to clean this!
RHP: oh shit!, im still typing a review.... uh... BYE!
darkjak: *thinking* this crazy-ass bitch.........
RHP: i wish that unstead of daxter shooting dark jak, dark jak would have took him again!
DJ: *thinking* wow, this crazy-ass disgusting bitch............
RHP: and the first time, i wish it could have been a little more descriptive!
DJ: OKAY, THAT'S IT YOU CRAZY-ASS DISGUSTING SICK TWISTED BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!
RHP: I TOLD YOU BEFORE NEVER, EVER!!!, CALL ME A BITCH AGAIN!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH! *tackles dark*
DJ: *starts slashing RHP with claws*
RHP: *grabs gun and starts shooting DJ*
Daxter: *walks in* HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~by now, both dark and rhp are injured and tired~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
RHP: okay, okay truths?! *holds out hand*
DJ: *shakes hand* truths!
Daxter: *looking around at blood on walls* Dammit! its gonna take forever to clean this!
RHP: oh shit!, im still typing a review.... uh... BYE!
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May 25, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Wow, dude. Someone in this section who actually knows a bit more about teh HAWT GAY buttsecks than "insert tab A into slot B." AND who's trying to fit canon in? Why isn't the world imploding?! Admittedly, I started from the bottom of the list, but still.
I can't help thinking that it's really, REALLY weird that nobody's on the streets of Haven City, though. Rather strange, given how many people are in the city during the games. And where are they, exactly? There's "sidewalk" and "post" and "street," but those are quite generic. Aside from the disturbing lack of scene-setting, I like the fact that you've put effort in so as not to have any grammatical or spelling errors, and the dialogue. The dialogue's really good. But "Jak snapped the barrel"? Does that mean he slapped it away from Daxter, or did he actually break it? 'Cause that would be odd, if he snapped a peice of metal in two.
I can't help thinking that it's really, REALLY weird that nobody's on the streets of Haven City, though. Rather strange, given how many people are in the city during the games. And where are they, exactly? There's "sidewalk" and "post" and "street," but those are quite generic. Aside from the disturbing lack of scene-setting, I like the fact that you've put effort in so as not to have any grammatical or spelling errors, and the dialogue. The dialogue's really good. But "Jak snapped the barrel"? Does that mean he slapped it away from Daxter, or did he actually break it? 'Cause that would be odd, if he snapped a peice of metal in two.
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May 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Wow, this is a very tear-jerking and sweet fic. Its a shame that Daxter killed Jak, but I guess Jak kinda was raping him lol. ^_^ Very great, hope to see more Jak/Dax fics soon!
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November 21, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Whoa, interesting. Good story, just wanted to tell you that.