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March 11, 2020 at 12:00 AM
The story had a couple of issues.
1. Simple errors. Double words and such.
2. You repeatedly used similar words in bulk, making it sound clunky.
3. Your characters lacked voice. You can't tell what person you are with.
4. You used technical stiff writing and wrong things. Like why would a woman place dirty pantyhose in her drawers?
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August 18, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Most excellent! Loved the beginning, middle and end. That's about as assertive as one can get and i look forward to anymore work you post. ^-^
Request? Hmmm... >_> I'm happy without almost any m/f pairing, but how about Ivan and Mia or Ivan/Jenna? Those both seem rare.
Request? Hmmm... >_> I'm happy without almost any m/f pairing, but how about Ivan and Mia or Ivan/Jenna? Those both seem rare.
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November 11, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hmm, not bad. Rather light on the story and characterizations, but you don't try to pretend otherwise. The sex scene has little more than the standard elements, but it's pretty good from beginning to end... no weirdness like you see in some GS fics. Not exceptional, but solid and entertaining.
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October 1, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I like it. Windshipping's much better than Lighthouseshipping, only because it has our two favourite Jupiter Adepts! *grins* A request? Okay, Felix/Mia. It's called softshipping, if I'm not mistaken. Anyway, write more fanfics! Coz' ya rawk!!!!
~*~The Wind Rider~*~
~*~The Wind Rider~*~
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August 26, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hooray! Windshipping!!!!! Could you write a Felix/Mia softshipping? Pretty please? It would TOTALLY make my day!
You rock!
~*~The Wind Rider~*~
You rock!
~*~The Wind Rider~*~
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June 4, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Heh heh, nice, this is the second Ivan/Shaba lemon I've found here, and it's a good one too! You don't see too many of these, and this is a good one! I also have a request, if I may, a Piers/Mia lemon please?
Good fic, I like it!
The Pyro
Good fic, I like it!
The Pyro
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January 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Very good and descriptive. I would like to see an Issac/Mia fic. or Even an Issac/Mia begining, Issac/Mia/Jenna middle, and Mia/Jenna ending, something like Mia and Issac going at it, Jenna walks in, admits she's bi, or something like that, and go from there. Overall good work
Omega
Omega
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December 5, 2004 at 12:00 AM
...interesting. all i can say is, i hate when people say "fuck me!" when they're fucking. so unnecesary.
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November 24, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Not to bad, I'd love to hear how Mia got Issac to own up on his feelings, maybe next chapter? Well, Keep up the good work
Omega, Still searching for the perfect Issac/Mia lemon
Omega, Still searching for the perfect Issac/Mia lemon
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November 22, 2004 at 12:00 AM
It was a good chapie and the point about being more asseritve was to die for, but pairings, pairings ahh and Issac/Jenna the classic pairing but yeah good story