schedule
August 1, 2007 at 12:00 AM
how nice
schedule
September 15, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Well written. One doesn’t see many fics of this quality in the video game section. Hats off!
The dialogue, hard to craft with a natural ring under normal circumstances, sounded like it might have come from the game, and that’s something I struggle with so I’m impressed.
What really impresses me though, is the escalating pacing of this story. It starts off mostly innocent, moves on to more seedy flirtation, and grows more intense with each passing paragraph. Nice use with the descriptions of sound and sight, I’d like to see the other 3 senses come out to play a little more next time.
Also enjoyed how Laharl and Etna were inexperienced on the finer techniques of sex, a touch of realism is always welcomed.
No real complaints on my end. There were a few awkward sentences sprinkled throughout, but nothing splitting them into two sentences wouldn’t fix. Also, if Etna has become so proficient with masturbation, how would she still have her hymen intact? Sounds like her tail would’ve taken care of that a long time ago.
Now let me pick my hat up, it’s getting stepped on.
The dialogue, hard to craft with a natural ring under normal circumstances, sounded like it might have come from the game, and that’s something I struggle with so I’m impressed.
What really impresses me though, is the escalating pacing of this story. It starts off mostly innocent, moves on to more seedy flirtation, and grows more intense with each passing paragraph. Nice use with the descriptions of sound and sight, I’d like to see the other 3 senses come out to play a little more next time.
Also enjoyed how Laharl and Etna were inexperienced on the finer techniques of sex, a touch of realism is always welcomed.
No real complaints on my end. There were a few awkward sentences sprinkled throughout, but nothing splitting them into two sentences wouldn’t fix. Also, if Etna has become so proficient with masturbation, how would she still have her hymen intact? Sounds like her tail would’ve taken care of that a long time ago.
Now let me pick my hat up, it’s getting stepped on.
schedule
August 22, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Absolutely lovely! It's a charming story with a surprisingly realistic portrayal of the characters. It also happened to be pretty freakin' hot. Great set-up, excellent use of dialogue and a lovely ending that leaves everyone wanting more. I especially appreciated the in-sex dialogue. Far too many lemon authors neglect this, opting for nothing but action. They end up churning out boring pieces of trash, but not you. No sir, YOU keep things interesting and intimate, and somehow manage to underline Laharl and Etna's respective personalities, even in the midst of giving us readers a damn good show.
Congratulations are definitely in order. To put it in simple terms, you rock.
Now, how are Episode 16 and Diary 15 coming along? I know I speak for everyone when I say we're on the edge of our seats.
Congratulations are definitely in order. To put it in simple terms, you rock.
Now, how are Episode 16 and Diary 15 coming along? I know I speak for everyone when I say we're on the edge of our seats.
schedule
January 7, 2006 at 12:00 AM
you know, you are a terrible writer! you know why, cuz you keep us waiting for the second chapter of this asskicking story! and for that, you suck. But for the great story, well developed plot, emotions and dialogues, you win lots of internetz X)
besides, chapter two will have lots of girly love between our fav fallen angel Flonne, and sucubus-slash-dominatrix... I mean, demones, Etna X)
besides, chapter two will have lots of girly love between our fav fallen angel Flonne, and sucubus-slash-dominatrix... I mean, demones, Etna X)
schedule
November 20, 2005 at 12:00 AM
that was great i would like to see more
schedule
October 4, 2005 at 12:00 AM
1
schedule
August 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
NICE! I found the part where Flonne walked in unexpactedly to HILARIOUS. keep up the good work
schedule
July 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
OMG!
I absolutely LOVE Laharl/Etna pairings!
Now if only I wish they opened a La Pucelle section here, then I'd be in business!
^_^; anyway, the fic was NICELY detailed, and the sex scenes just filled my mind with images I wanted to think of!
You sir, are like Jesus Christ himself! Well, if Jesus COULD write lemons, then yeah, you'd be him!
I wanna see an Ep. 16!
I absolutely LOVE Laharl/Etna pairings!
Now if only I wish they opened a La Pucelle section here, then I'd be in business!
^_^; anyway, the fic was NICELY detailed, and the sex scenes just filled my mind with images I wanted to think of!
You sir, are like Jesus Christ himself! Well, if Jesus COULD write lemons, then yeah, you'd be him!
I wanna see an Ep. 16!
schedule
February 13, 2005 at 12:00 AM
If my comment will get along the road to update this amazing fic, then I'll gladly do it. Please add another chapter, this was amazing!
schedule
November 21, 2004 at 12:00 AM
LUVD IT LUVD IT LUVD IT!!!!!!...might I suggest more?? I think you should add some MSTR Lamington/Flonne WHY SHE WORSHIPS HIM TO NO END IS BEYOND ME!!!!!....sigh...maybe its his deep sexy voice....or maybe its the hair.....MUWAHAHAHAHA!!!!! *dedicates her life to cutting off the "DARK ADONIS'S"hair!!!! , Vyers A.K.A. "MID BOSS"/Flonne to this fic!!! I've almost beaten the game and I think these are some couples who deserve a little of the action too!!
Ps PLZ!!! send your fic to me if you decide to write it!!! ^_^
this game is just too damn addicting!!!!!!
Ps PLZ!!! send your fic to me if you decide to write it!!! ^_^
this game is just too damn addicting!!!!!!