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April 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
very disturbing man I don't mean to sound rude but were you high when you wrote this cuz there is alot a grammar errors.
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February 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Nice! That's a great explanation for how the Gerudo repopulate. I also agree. Link is not gay!
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November 8, 2004 at 12:00 AM
WOW! That was HOT!!! -I think my pants are wet... Write more!!!
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May 29, 2004 at 12:00 AM
You know, I must admit that the idea was original. It helps explain how the race continues in such a way and how everyone isn't either extremely young or old... but beyond that this is trash. Another "sex as quickly as possible" piece. "Uh oh Zelda, you're my hoe!" Come on, what is that? Honestly. But I know no matter what I tell you you aren't going to change your story, or even story structure (though it would definitely be for the best) so for your own sake, re-read your own work or get someone to do it for you. I can only imagine that you were too busing playing with yourself to see the countless number of tense changes and spelling errors. (The line "he came here for peace, not pice of ass" was ruined by your misspelling of "piece"). Choose present tense or past tense, not both in the same paragraph.
This story has no point to it other than getting Zelda involved in a hemphroditie three-some. At least try to work this into some type of plot.
This story has no point to it other than getting Zelda involved in a hemphroditie three-some. At least try to work this into some type of plot.
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May 18, 2004 at 12:00 AM
In regard to Link being gay...
I am assuming this to mean that you would have Link engage in sexual acts with the hermaphrodital Nabooru. Now, this is largely my opinion, and you don't have to go along with it, but here goes: Gender is largely a stat min mind. For example, I remember reading of a case in which an infant male's penis was accidentally severed during a circumcision. The decision was mto rto raise the 'boy' as a girl. Some years later, when s/he found out, s/he had him/herself reverted to a male because s/he had felt like a man for all his/her life, but wasn't sure why. Or something like that.
I do not consider myself homosexual in any regard. However, if I met a person who presented themself as a woman, and I was attracted to them, if they were to have a penis, then that would not deter me from continuing a relationship with them, sexual or otherwise.
Feminity CAN coexist with the phallus. Just consider the penis to be a really enlarged clitoris.
I am assuming this to mean that you would have Link engage in sexual acts with the hermaphrodital Nabooru. Now, this is largely my opinion, and you don't have to go along with it, but here goes: Gender is largely a stat min mind. For example, I remember reading of a case in which an infant male's penis was accidentally severed during a circumcision. The decision was mto rto raise the 'boy' as a girl. Some years later, when s/he found out, s/he had him/herself reverted to a male because s/he had felt like a man for all his/her life, but wasn't sure why. Or something like that.
I do not consider myself homosexual in any regard. However, if I met a person who presented themself as a woman, and I was attracted to them, if they were to have a penis, then that would not deter me from continuing a relationship with them, sexual or otherwise.
Feminity CAN coexist with the phallus. Just consider the penis to be a really enlarged clitoris.
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April 17, 2004 at 12:00 AM
The premise of your fanfic is interesting enough. It ainlainly answers some questions about how the Go mao managed to survive
with only one male born every 100 years, though it may not be the answer most people would like to hear.
About the character's... err... characters, Nabooru seems to be a bit too "Evil Bitch"-like, especially for a Sage and Zelda seems
to take her rape suspiciously well. I realise the whole aim of the story was to get Nabooru and Zelda boinking each other ASAP,
but I think a slightly different approach would have made it more believable.
Since you seem to be stuck right now -and since I do want to see this story continued-, might I suggest that you go on with the
story for a while, instead of sex.sex. It'll give you a chance to set up some new conditions for, well, further sex scenes. Like,
maybe Nabooru decides to go to Castle Hyrule to talk some more about those peace proposals and, while she's there anyway,
also goes to see Zelda and Link (and possibly Impa and/or Navi as well). Or perhaps, some time after the incident, Zelda
discovers that she's pregnant but isn't quite sure who the 'father' is, which in turn clears the way for futher hijinks.
Finally, please, do something about your spelling and grammar. The story is readable, yes, but it's not an easy read due to all
the errors made all over the place. Taking up a beta-reader (or even a simple spellchecker) will really help make the story
better. After allellielling and grammar may only be details, but then again, they do say that's where God is.
with only one male born every 100 years, though it may not be the answer most people would like to hear.
About the character's... err... characters, Nabooru seems to be a bit too "Evil Bitch"-like, especially for a Sage and Zelda seems
to take her rape suspiciously well. I realise the whole aim of the story was to get Nabooru and Zelda boinking each other ASAP,
but I think a slightly different approach would have made it more believable.
Since you seem to be stuck right now -and since I do want to see this story continued-, might I suggest that you go on with the
story for a while, instead of sex.sex. It'll give you a chance to set up some new conditions for, well, further sex scenes. Like,
maybe Nabooru decides to go to Castle Hyrule to talk some more about those peace proposals and, while she's there anyway,
also goes to see Zelda and Link (and possibly Impa and/or Navi as well). Or perhaps, some time after the incident, Zelda
discovers that she's pregnant but isn't quite sure who the 'father' is, which in turn clears the way for futher hijinks.
Finally, please, do something about your spelling and grammar. The story is readable, yes, but it's not an easy read due to all
the errors made all over the place. Taking up a beta-reader (or even a simple spellchecker) will really help make the story
better. After allellielling and grammar may only be details, but then again, they do say that's where God is.
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April 17, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Aw shoot. My first time reviewing here and I manage to really screw up the formatting. My apologies for that.
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March 19, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Classify this one as kinky !
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March 8, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Who here thinks the rest of my work is unintelligible?
You know Mr. Crush, that has got to be the most unhelpfull review yet. If you're going tell me what I'm doing wrong, then do it in detail, or if you want to be my Beta, then that might have been a review worth keeping the double review. Untill then, please check out the rest of my 'unintelligible' work.
You know Mr. Crush, that has got to be the most unhelpfull review yet. If you're going tell me what I'm doing wrong, then do it in detail, or if you want to be my Beta, then that might have been a review worth keeping the double review. Untill then, please check out the rest of my 'unintelligible' work.
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March 7, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Original. Never thought of this before. Good sex scenes and all, but it suffered from fucking awful grammar (like the other stories you've written). Also, nothing personal, but if this is your best work, then you're worst work must be totally unintelligible.