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schedule
December 21, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Woah... this... story is unbelivable! I mean really!! I´ve never read such a good FF on AdultFanFiction.net!! Well... now to the story:
Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh!!! Kairi!! I swaer, when I get my Hands on her I´m going to make sure that she´ll have a slow and Painfull Death!! How could she let Livion take over and attack Cloud?! *growls* But It´s a really, REALLY GOOD Story!! I hope you update soon!!
~~Liebchen~~
Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh!!! Kairi!! I swaer, when I get my Hands on her I´m going to make sure that she´ll have a slow and Painfull Death!! How could she let Livion take over and attack Cloud?! *growls* But It´s a really, REALLY GOOD Story!! I hope you update soon!!
~~Liebchen~~
schedule
December 21, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Damn, I wish I had more time to write another lengthy review...(you all know you want it =P) ...but a ton of homework's gonna prevent me from that liberty. Ah well.
Anyway, Hotaru, you are the man! (and/or woman. *grin*) Your writing skills have not yet ceased to dazzle and amaze, if you will. =) The funny thing was, I was so *worried* that you would be concluding your truly wonderful and outrageously awesome story at Chapter 17, when I realized that all this time, Kairi and her presently-evil antics were being pushed into the background. "What ever happened to that girl, Kairi?" I thought to myself, and no sooner had I thought it when coincidentally I read the part where she flings herself at them from the branches in all her sadistic glory---(crazy description, I know =P)---AND...then I knew that the story would go on. And it was cool. And I loved it. Heh. =)
And I never would've thought that "Livion" was taken from "oblivion". Had you planned that out beforehand? I guess you did...or something. But again, interesting usage of diction, man. =P
One last thing...(I guess this review's getting kinda long as it is; couldn't help myself =D)...but it'd be pretty sad if Cloud died. It would be very dramatic and all if he did, fueling Sephiroth's rage but then there's the contemplation of murdering a young girl because of that...some stuff to consider, there. Is she gonna do something...*horrible* to Riku? *hears an announcer-voice saying "Tune in for the next episode! And, will Roan get a life?" Who can say, really. *grin*
But again, great job overall. Can't wait to read "numba" 18. Oh yeah, and that's anothhinghing. You "increase your coolness" as a talented fic-writer by being able to update in a span of time that isn't so long all the readers eventually pull all their hair out from impatience! Um, that IS a good thing. So, keep doing whatever it is that you do that keeps you s top top of things, and I'll catcha later.
~roan
*hands you a whole batch-o-cookies gift ba* Ro*
Anyway, Hotaru, you are the man! (and/or woman. *grin*) Your writing skills have not yet ceased to dazzle and amaze, if you will. =) The funny thing was, I was so *worried* that you would be concluding your truly wonderful and outrageously awesome story at Chapter 17, when I realized that all this time, Kairi and her presently-evil antics were being pushed into the background. "What ever happened to that girl, Kairi?" I thought to myself, and no sooner had I thought it when coincidentally I read the part where she flings herself at them from the branches in all her sadistic glory---(crazy description, I know =P)---AND...then I knew that the story would go on. And it was cool. And I loved it. Heh. =)
And I never would've thought that "Livion" was taken from "oblivion". Had you planned that out beforehand? I guess you did...or something. But again, interesting usage of diction, man. =P
One last thing...(I guess this review's getting kinda long as it is; couldn't help myself =D)...but it'd be pretty sad if Cloud died. It would be very dramatic and all if he did, fueling Sephiroth's rage but then there's the contemplation of murdering a young girl because of that...some stuff to consider, there. Is she gonna do something...*horrible* to Riku? *hears an announcer-voice saying "Tune in for the next episode! And, will Roan get a life?" Who can say, really. *grin*
But again, great job overall. Can't wait to read "numba" 18. Oh yeah, and that's anothhinghing. You "increase your coolness" as a talented fic-writer by being able to update in a span of time that isn't so long all the readers eventually pull all their hair out from impatience! Um, that IS a good thing. So, keep doing whatever it is that you do that keeps you s top top of things, and I'll catcha later.
~roan
*hands you a whole batch-o-cookies gift ba* Ro*
schedule
December 21, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Well, first I'd like to say that this story is not what I thought it would be when I clicked on it. Truthfully, I wasn't too sure on reading it. I thought it was just a PWP (not that that would've been something bad, had it been one ^_^) with M/F and M/M intercourse. (which leads to my second point) I hardly ever read anything that has M/F sex in it. (Don't know why.. I probably find it boring, I suppose. o.O') But... I have to say that in this story the sex between male and female didn't bother me at all. *people looking shocked and whisper "Will Marielle finally start reading more fanfics with straight sex in it?"* ^_^0 Well, I don't know about that but anyway...
Is it third? o.O Well, third... I liked the way you added other figures into the story as well, like Sephiroth ainceincent and Aeris and so on... ^_^ Mostly because I absolutely adore those characters (*waves banner that says 'I love Sephy'*) and the way you paid attention to them as well... I thought that was a good thing. Four, the story didn't turn out to be as I expected at *all*. It was actually a very good one, with a good plot too! :) One that kept me intrigued and made me read chapter after chapter until there was no more. (Can you actually believe that I got annoyed when my mom told me to stop to have the dinner? You'd better. *sweatdrop* That's what good stories do to you. ^_^) I even have to admit that I nearly was in tears because of the bad things that kept happening to Riku. (Poor guy. :p He must've done something really bad to make you torture him like this, right? Or are you just that sadistic, hm? Don't feel bad though. It happens to all of us.)
Another thing... Did I hear you mention that this was your first fanfic? If so, I must say that I'm impressed. You've certainly done a good job then. Or perhaps you're just talented. Who knows?
Anyway, I think I've done enough yapping. Honestly, sometimes I just can't stop. ^_^0 Oh well, I'm sure you don't mind, right? A nice comment is always appreciated, no? :) Well, I hope to read more anytime soon, keep up the good work and thank you for actually reading this!
Ciao! ^_^
Is it third? o.O Well, third... I liked the way you added other figures into the story as well, like Sephiroth ainceincent and Aeris and so on... ^_^ Mostly because I absolutely adore those characters (*waves banner that says 'I love Sephy'*) and the way you paid attention to them as well... I thought that was a good thing. Four, the story didn't turn out to be as I expected at *all*. It was actually a very good one, with a good plot too! :) One that kept me intrigued and made me read chapter after chapter until there was no more. (Can you actually believe that I got annoyed when my mom told me to stop to have the dinner? You'd better. *sweatdrop* That's what good stories do to you. ^_^) I even have to admit that I nearly was in tears because of the bad things that kept happening to Riku. (Poor guy. :p He must've done something really bad to make you torture him like this, right? Or are you just that sadistic, hm? Don't feel bad though. It happens to all of us.)
Another thing... Did I hear you mention that this was your first fanfic? If so, I must say that I'm impressed. You've certainly done a good job then. Or perhaps you're just talented. Who knows?
Anyway, I think I've done enough yapping. Honestly, sometimes I just can't stop. ^_^0 Oh well, I'm sure you don't mind, right? A nice comment is always appreciated, no? :) Well, I hope to read more anytime soon, keep up the good work and thank you for actually reading this!
Ciao! ^_^
schedule
December 20, 2003 at 12:00 AM
wow
schedule
December 18, 2003 at 12:00 AM
sooooo.... you know you wanna write another chapter. you know you do. and if you don't: I the melevolent underware monkey will steal your underware. muwahahahahahahahahahahaha! okay, i'm done. luv luv luv luv. you are soooo evil and i love it! please keep writing till you finish. i must know how it ends. must must must!!!!! from the sounds of it though... this may just be part of the beginning? somewhat... maybe... i dunno. i lurve you! *schmatz*
schedule
December 18, 2003 at 12:00 AM
me again. quick question or two. who was cloud's friend? she was female, you said so yourself. and so i thought it was tifa. but then you brought seph into the picture and i started thinking mabey you made a typo. then again, i'm also wondering if she was left in the castle, but none of the characters mention anything about that. so i'm thinking it's seph. totally need that clarified. 'nother question. are you implying some kind of relationship other than friendship between cloud and seph? if you are that's great. i love cloudxseph. if not, that's cool too. sorry. these are my first two reviews. i just haven't stopped reading the last two nights except too sleep and to go to work. but i love it! your writing style is so excellent and it is so hard to actually find good S&M and B&D fics online. i luv you! and remember: i'll steal your underware if you don't comply with my earlier request. oh... and i'll steal kairi. take her far far away from you. she may be a bloody fucking goddamn whore in this fic but she is still MINE! *schmatz*
schedule
December 14, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Man, this is probably one of the best KH fics out there---no lie. While it may of course appeal to "adult tastes", it's not your little "PWP-filled-to-the-brim-with-angstiness" type crap.
It actually has a pretty engrossing storyline, and I especially loved how you worked in the term "Hollow Bastion" in there in the latest chapter--it was pretty creative! I mean, I ASSUME that the people at Disney and Square weren't intending the history of the name Hollow Bastion to be that...dark, (heh heh) but for me it works very well. *pat on the back* =)
Each character retains their individual personalitieat wat we all know (and love, or something =P) and I wouldn't be able to place an "OOC" label anywhere in your story. (Well, of course Kairi's an exception, but that was a deliberate-part-of-the-plot personality change--not a failed attempt at portraying her true character.)
Your original charact Liv Livion especially, are very deep and have their own carefully developed personalities---going into their past really does the trick to make them appear "more realistic" and believable as a character, although that's not the only strong point. =) I mean, the reader grows to have a passion to hate this guy; and although he was never really GOOD at any point---just plain deceptive and evil---he really serves as a good "bad guy". A PERVERTED bad guy, but hey, the readers here at adultfanfiction know it slightly (if not more, heh) enhances the story appeal, right? *grin*
Having Riku as the "main" protagonist, being the wielder of the keyblade is certainly a plus for me, seeing as he is my favorite character in KH. =D (I'd be lying if I said I disliked the Riku-torture, but uh, 'nuff said, eh? =P)
All in all, (or should it be "in conclusion" for this damn essay =P) I hope you continue to be inspired and produce more wonderful and innovative writing! Kudos to you, my friend, and I don't wanna sound like the "generic" reviewer here, but update soon, if you can! I really can't wait to read thet oft of your story! (Yay.) ^.^
~roan
*gives you a cookie*
It actually has a pretty engrossing storyline, and I especially loved how you worked in the term "Hollow Bastion" in there in the latest chapter--it was pretty creative! I mean, I ASSUME that the people at Disney and Square weren't intending the history of the name Hollow Bastion to be that...dark, (heh heh) but for me it works very well. *pat on the back* =)
Each character retains their individual personalitieat wat we all know (and love, or something =P) and I wouldn't be able to place an "OOC" label anywhere in your story. (Well, of course Kairi's an exception, but that was a deliberate-part-of-the-plot personality change--not a failed attempt at portraying her true character.)
Your original charact Liv Livion especially, are very deep and have their own carefully developed personalities---going into their past really does the trick to make them appear "more realistic" and believable as a character, although that's not the only strong point. =) I mean, the reader grows to have a passion to hate this guy; and although he was never really GOOD at any point---just plain deceptive and evil---he really serves as a good "bad guy". A PERVERTED bad guy, but hey, the readers here at adultfanfiction know it slightly (if not more, heh) enhances the story appeal, right? *grin*
Having Riku as the "main" protagonist, being the wielder of the keyblade is certainly a plus for me, seeing as he is my favorite character in KH. =D (I'd be lying if I said I disliked the Riku-torture, but uh, 'nuff said, eh? =P)
All in all, (or should it be "in conclusion" for this damn essay =P) I hope you continue to be inspired and produce more wonderful and innovative writing! Kudos to you, my friend, and I don't wanna sound like the "generic" reviewer here, but update soon, if you can! I really can't wait to read thet oft of your story! (Yay.) ^.^
~roan
*gives you a cookie*
schedule
December 13, 2003 at 12:00 AM
i'm looking forward to the day that livion dies... really... poor bastion.. i feel sorry for him...
good chappie, continue soon! :D
good chappie, continue soon! :D
schedule
December 13, 2003 at 12:00 AM
^__^ This is a wonderful fanfic! It has a really in-depth plot, and it's clear that you've put a lot of time and effort into it. Keep up the good work, ne?
Kazzii :~*X*~:
Kazzii :~*X*~:
schedule
December 13, 2003 at 12:00 AM
"...my empty, lifeless, hollow Bastion." That. Was. So. COOL!!! I love how you keep tossing in little details like this here and there. It makes things feel...more real, I guess. Since this latest chapter was more in the way of background, the end wasn't quite so cliffhangish. (Ok, so that's not really a word, but you get the idea.) And do my eyes deceive me, or was that the perpetually adorable Carbuncle making a cameo appearance in there? Way cool. And so glad to see Squall got to Aeris before she was harmed. Anyway, this story just keeps getting better and better with every twist and turn. Can't wait to see what happens next, so hurry up and post already! (Impatient, who me? Nawwwwww...) ;)